Sex, Awkward Intimacy You tried

You tried

dumped - 26/07/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

anonymous - 29/01/2011 12:41 - Australia

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

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Suave

ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

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ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

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motherlover - 05/08/2014 04:40 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

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Timing

kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

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laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

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In the mood

Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

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mo - 19/12/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

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ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

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What ARE you doing?

jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

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Mike1313 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:09

Maybe his mother is hot.

kmwis_00 6

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:13

Ew! How would he know what his mom looked like in that pose? O.o

BananaSticker 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 10:39

HeatherxCore is awesome. :] You get a banana sticker! *hands you a banana sticker with another one hidden under it* Shhhhh. ;]

HeatherXCore 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 10:43

Golly! It's my lucky day!

rusticmayhem 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 10:52

haha wtf ? that's so awkward... ewh, he looks at his mom pose naked in the shower ? blech.

BananaSticker 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 10:53

Yes! Yes it is. :]

Elicy1984 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 10:54

What an ass, why even drop comments like that? OP I feel sorry for you. FYL

luminousgirl 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 11:43

oh gosh that sucks. f your life.

thatoneplace 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 11:54

maybe her boyfriend has a mom fetish and pictures her as his mom

LiftedRG971 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 12:11

you shoulda bitch slapped that foo'

Jonsey92 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 12:15

he doesn't like you!! :)

soccerguy77 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 13:15

#75,78 WTF?

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, we left the cat alone all day for the first time in months, and came back home 11.5 hours later to three enormous puddles of vomit. We then spent $450 at the vet only to find out that our cat is perfectly healthy. He just has separation anxiety. FML

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Today, I was so envious of my thin, pretty, genetically perfect sister getting a date that I lied to my mom, saying she was a prostitute. I made a fake escort page and used her pics. My mom lost her shit and kicked my sister out, but now the guilt is eating me up. FML

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Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

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Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

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Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

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Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

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