Love Dating Red flag

Red flag

me. - - United States

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So, are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

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jonas_93 - 05/04/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

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Feels bad man

toobad - 02/06/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML

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sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

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number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

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Branded

Anonymous - 20/10/2021 07:00 - United States - Eau Claire

Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML

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Single4Life - 05/07/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

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theuglyfriend - 17/07/2012 06:09 - United States - Riverbank

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

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apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

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Deluxe Memory Man

Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

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panda1o 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 8:59

well which one were you?

xlorawrz 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:00

That's harsh and bitchy of them, but that's what happens when you hand out your phone number to random douchebags at bars.

GiggidyPants 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:02

"I thought I was both."

SimpleMinds_fml 7

Tuesday 11 October 2011 8:55

You are Gary, you are.

FLAMERSLAYER 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:03

lol

jonn090 13

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:03

you should have been " IM RICK JAMES BITCH " and hung up

yomommma 6

Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:13

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Shafreeka 8

Tuesday 9 August 2011 12:05

**** yo couch, n***a! **** yo couch!

liy223 6

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:05

"wrong number..."

Apaulus 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:06

Hopefully you learned your lesson: Never give your number away to someone you just met. If you agree with me, text me at 6105003438

markrs 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:07

Did you answer and let him get laid? Cuz that's what the ugly or the fat or the fugly still do...

briar_127 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:07

Well did you answer

AlejandraaxD 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:12

"We excitedly answer the phone,.."

AlejandraaxD 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:14

answered*

ItsAllBeenDone 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:20

I think he meant to ask if they answered the question

lilac268 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:08

Sorry man

btown99909 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:11

hope u didn't reply "both"

PurpleChick96 3

Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:12

Tell him to go suck his own and hang up.

AnagenisisZagus 13

Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:50

That would take fascinating flexibility, or an enormous dong. Yes, I said dong.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

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Today, my mom is mad at me because, at her insistence, I got a company to install a stairlift for her due to the pain in her legs, and after buying it and getting it installed, it turns out she’s too obese for it. It can carry me and Dad, but with her it just makes a grinding noise and refuses to move. FML

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Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

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Today, my coworker has Covid symptoms but refuses to get tested. I told her she should get tested but she refused. I told our boss she has symptoms, so then he told her to get tested and now she’s giving me the silent treatment. FML

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Today, ten years after getting my college girlfriend pregnant and leaving because I wasn't ready, I reached out to her and told her I'm ready to be a father. Apparently my son "already has a father in his life" and "doesn't need me." She laughed at me when I threatened to sue for custody, and hung up. FML

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