Animals, Dogs Cute Get back here - FML

Get back here

Dog the bounty hunter - 11/07/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML

349

172

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Naughty boy

Bad boy - 21/09/2023 06:00

Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML

570

228

GotMyBitchBack - 05/09/2013 11:02 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

54 542

3 052

Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

1 439

745

Clever boy

Anonymous - 28/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

710

152

Bad boy

Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

48 109

8 778

Doggy dog world

Maude - 20/11/2020 05:03 - Canada - Beauharnois

Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML

754

259

Clever boy

Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

507

101

Sid - 10/04/2011 00:58 - United States

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

24 707

41 790

The chase

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

30 367

4 260

Alert!

DamnDogs - 05/03/2012 10:28 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

23 618

4 080

Hangryko 31

Friday 11 July 2025 16:55

Why aren't you locking the sliding door before you nap?

JasonThorn 20

Saturday 19 July 2025 21:33

Grab the dog and thank the neighbor.

Hangryko 31

Friday 11 July 2025 16:55

Why aren't you locking the sliding door before you nap?

JasonThorn 20

Saturday 19 July 2025 21:33

Grab the dog and thank the neighbor.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

36 684

4 046

Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny Smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML

17 956

1 836

Today, I started self-harming again. My therapist keeps switching the subject when I try to bring it up, and my best friend has called me attention-seeking and selfish so many times in the past year that I’m too scared to ask for her support. I have nobody else to talk to. FML

1 341

263

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

24 598

3 879

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

15 967

1 501

Today, after spending at least 4 hours drawing a realistic shadow of a vampire for a picture contest, I finally remembered that vampires aren't supposed to produce shadows. FML

1 259

763