Sex, Awkward Intimacy Cold shower

Cold shower

MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Method acting

Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

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iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

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Cheeky

woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

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Just… why?

Ob3nie - 14/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML

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Hello Zoe

Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

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Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

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Nope out of there

twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

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Pull up

ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

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Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

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Mortified

killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

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mizled 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:27

You read your texts during sex? That's just bad manners...

Chaith 16

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:31

Hey, that's cool, your boyfriend frequents fmylife.com too! "Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"

binnyswaa 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:30

REPOST

wtfdidido 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:33

First you fake to your parents, now you fake to FML? You could have just said, "Today, my parents caught me pretending to have sex. FML"

Majaica 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:35

I have another error with this post besides the "you're" problem. "me and my boyfriend" is suppost to be said: "my boyfriend and I"

123sploosh 0

Monday 20 July 2009 5:39

go away immediately

laxer12 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:43

Well unless you are gay, why is your name "MrAwsum"?

amykillswitch 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:46

okay for the people who are asking why would you look at your phone while your having sex...maybe she was checking it to see of her mom was on her way home or something like that. i know if i was expecting my parents to come home at some point, i would check when i got a message/phone call just to be safe. i wouldn't want to be caught with my pants down. just saying. but the message itself does sound like it could be made up unless your parents are that indifferent.

ayoooooo 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:52

yeah, your life is pretty effed. :D

mmmarissa 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:55

maybe she checker her text after the finished?

gefanit 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 2:05

It's you're, not your.. YOUR mom is a retard. YOU'RE the child of a retard. Thats how you use it, welcome to English!

shady_angel 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 2:07

What the hell is it with people and grammer on her, gah!!!

Kamicase 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 2:07

OMFG! Epic parent win! : D Your parents could have done so many worse things like busting in but instead they just sent you this super hilarious message. ^^