Kids 911 is a joke

911 is a joke

Lauren Smith - - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Chubby - 02/11/2009 20:39 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

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Smash the patriarchy!

Anonymous - 25/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

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whattabrat - 26/02/2012 05:16 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

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Reported!

thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

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me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

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Just a dream

Anonymous - 06/02/2020 01:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML

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oh well - 14/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my sister in law threatened to call CPS on me because I “starved” her children when they spent the night. I didn’t starve them. I made an actual home cooked meal instead of the microwaveable or fast food crap she constantly feeds them. They chose not to eat and threw tantrums instead. FML

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Playing favorites

So sick of disrespect - 21/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML

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Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

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Stranger danger

Cali Montana - 03/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML

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DocBastard 38

Sunday 17 October 2010 23:11

Spanking. That is all.

FirstBornUnicorn 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 23:06

Good. Now your son has you on a leash.

sandy19453 0

Sunday 7 November 2010 18:21

that is so funny

Scopium 0

Friday 12 November 2010 20:59

The kid is really serious about his food, he's gettin it by any means necessary lol.

Midgecline 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 22:52

Well look at it this way. Your very intelligent son is capable and willing to call the police should a real emergancy ever occur.

hannahgirl11 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 8:09

I see you've taught ur child to be a bratty ass bitch

hannahgirl11 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 8:30

shacoria ur an idiot how do u know she hasn't been working her ass off to give the kid the stuff he needs for all u know the kid could be a spoiled brat with $5,000 wroth of stuff and because now she's a mother she's not allowed to eat sleep poo or anything? for once can the parent not be the bad guy for wanting a basic nesscety god

KayleighRenee 0

Saturday 22 January 2011 15:02

that little brat.

nick3600 22

Saturday 5 March 2011 1:31

LOL U FAIL @ TEACHING CHILDREN MANNERS

iiNanix3 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:45

Everyone that's calling the mom a bitch for not even giving him a snack needs to **** off. Either you guys haven't had to experience being a parent yet or are just plain selfish. And it's not the kid's fault either. He's young so he doesn't understand any of this like you guys obviously do not either. By reading, I'm going to assume that the kid's young and stop saying "if he's smart enough to figure out how to use a phone he's smart enough to figure out how to make a sandwich". Really? This is the 21st century. Try and keep up with the times.