Kids 911 is a joke

911 is a joke

Lauren Smith - - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Chubby - 02/11/2009 20:39 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

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Smash the patriarchy!

Anonymous - 25/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home to my son with a bruised face and my daughter locked in her room. Apparently, when she got home from work, her unemployed brother asked her when she was going to cook dinner, so she punched him in the head. He’s so entitled that he actually thought he’d get sympathy from me. FML

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whattabrat - 26/02/2012 05:16 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

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Reported!

thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

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me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

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Just a dream

Anonymous - 06/02/2020 01:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML

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oh well - 14/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my sister in law threatened to call CPS on me because I “starved” her children when they spent the night. I didn’t starve them. I made an actual home cooked meal instead of the microwaveable or fast food crap she constantly feeds them. They chose not to eat and threw tantrums instead. FML

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Playing favorites

So sick of disrespect - 21/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML

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Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

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Stranger danger

Cali Montana - 03/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML

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DocBastard 38

Sunday 17 October 2010 23:11

Spanking. That is all.

FirstBornUnicorn 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 23:06

Good. Now your son has you on a leash.

babyblueyes 27

Monday 18 October 2010 12:29

id give him something to really call the cops about

jtini001 4

Monday 18 October 2010 15:25

give the little lad a snack for goodness sakes!!!

Squander 3

Tuesday 19 October 2010 1:07

OH FOR JESUS SAKE she wasn't letting him starve, she was waiting like half and hour just to rest after work, that isn't a crime. This bastard kid sounds like my thirteen-year-old brother who doesn't even know how to make his own Kraft Dinner and gets pissed when Mommy acts like she has needs of her own rather than just simple her child's slave. Plus, if she works a regular job it was probably only 4 or 5 when she got home, and any kid who starves to the point of weakness by 6 PM has some metabolic problem.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 19 October 2010 4:36

I agreed with your comment, up until the last sentence. I have low blood sugar, and no, I'm not diabetic. It's not a metabolic disorder, either. I need to eat regularly so that I don't feel weak and possibly faint (this only ever happened once, but it has happened). Though, there's nothing stopping the kid from grabbing a pb+j sammie.

dancerhottie 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 5:13

that sux

ijenah 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 5:21

lol kids say the silliest things

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 7:29

FYL for having a shitty son. But YDI because it's your own damn fault if your hellspawn has no respect for you and even less for the authorities. Not to mention that he also has no comprehension of the importance of that service and why it should never be called for something this stupid. All around parenting fail. Wait until he's a teenager, then you'll have something to worry about.

TheOtherNewest1 6

Tuesday 19 October 2010 14:12

That kid is a winner.

hoghunter 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 3:57

smack the shit out of that little shit!

mercedeslove 0

Friday 29 October 2010 3:36

If he were my kid the cops would need a body bag. I'd beat the **** out of him so hard he'd die. YDI for being a ***** who can't keep her legs closed.