Your everyday life stories

18andgrounded - 14/05/2016 17:29 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I had to show my mother the projects I had completed. I had stored them on my flash drive. When I went to show them to her, I realized that I had picked the, um, wrong flash drive. Now I'm grounded. FML

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thisismylifenow - 14/05/2016 16:23 - Denmark

Today I cleaned our whole house by myself, again, because a year ago I offered to do my husband's share that week because he was sick. I've been doing it solo pretty much every week since. FML

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tinudaindian - 14/05/2016 16:19 - United States - Kendall Park

Today, my dad gave away $100+ worth of tools, that I bought with my own money to work on our cars, to his friends who are wealthy enough to buy their own. FML

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jeff_zz - 14/05/2016 15:32 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my girlfriend told me about how great I was last night. I just got back from my trip to Peru this morning... FML

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Dnamei - 14/05/2016 15:07 - Belgium - Zemst

Today, I had to try to convince my grandmother (who only had daughters) that the fact my baby son had a 'hard on' is completely natural and doesn't mean he's possessed by Satan. I explained this while she was trying to contact a priest for an exorcism. She doesn't believe me, and now shuns him. FML

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anonymousy - 14/05/2016 14:51 - Canada - Richmond

Today, I found out that the one and only grocery store in my small ass hick town is closing for good. It's also my job. FML.

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hypocrite - 14/05/2016 07:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was talking to a friend about wanting to beat the shit out of this guy he has never met before. Then he gets pissed off at me for wanting to punch a girl at a party for "accidentally" touching his dick more than once at a party....FML

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Angrycatlady - 14/05/2016 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cats got back from the vet from being fixed for inappropriate urination. Their medical cones make them too big to enter their litter box so they started urinating all over the floor. FML

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ANOMaly - 14/05/2016 05:49 - United States

Today, in my world geography class we were learning about Oceania (I'm Australian). We watched a video on Australian wildlife where a koala got knocked out of a tree, put in a bag and tagged. Everyone looked at me in disgust like it was me abusing it. This is what I get for living in Texas. FML

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Anonymous - 14/05/2016 05:32 - United States - Bay City

Today, while I was driving home I came upon a traffic jam on a four lane road. Speeds were 55 and ONLY my direction was at a complete stop. Being courteous, I waved an elderly couple though our lanes to turn left. They thought I meant it was all good everywhere. On coming traffic destroyed them.

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Helpme - 14/05/2016 05:19 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I started my period, I some how hurt my tail bone, and I am sick. Sneezing and coughing are very bad ideas. Guess what I can't stop doing. FML

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got shitfaced - 14/05/2016 05:07 - United States

Today I fucked up. My allergies were acting up while I was picking up dog shit out of the back yard. I sneezed violently and instinctively tried to cover myself. I ended up slapping myself in the face with the plastic glove that I was using to pick up the dog shit.FML

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fantasyworld - 14/05/2016 05:02 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I found that McDonalds won't even hire me, FML

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Csquared - 14/05/2016 04:55 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I found out my girlfriend has Ovarian Cancer. Just yesterday my mom informed me she has Breast Cancer. FML

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Jojo - 14/05/2016 04:13 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house because he was alone and I was ready to get frisky with him after a few weeks of no sex. There was an opened box of latex condoms on his dresser. I am allergic to latex FML

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anonymousgirl97 - 14/05/2016 04:13 - United States - Kill Devil Hills

Today, I went to dinner as friends with my ex that I'm still in love with for the first time since we broke up. Neither of us wants to sleep with anyone else because how incredible our sex was. Now we are friends with benefits, but she assured we can't be anything more than that. FML

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shayne1122 - 14/05/2016 04:09 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my unemployment claim was denied because leaving work due to a brain injury stemming from domestic violence isn't a "good reason". No money, no job, no memory. FML

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Bob - 14/05/2016 03:59 - Japan

Today, I called my gynecologist for my test results. He said, "There are three... Oh wait. There are 7 problems. You need to come in." I have only had sex without a condom once. FML

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KielNotKyle - 14/05/2016 03:51 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me saying "you feel more like a friend to me." I got friend zoned by my girlfriend. FML

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anonymous - 14/05/2016 03:49 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I was able to get out of the ticket by pretending I was pregnant, and grabbing my stomach fat saying there was something wrong with the baby and I needed to get to the hospital. I didn't think it would work, but he believed me. FML.

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fuckhimtho - 14/05/2016 03:46 - United States

Today, my crush came over for a bonfire. We were making bets on shooting. I lost $50, and he insulted my family and pets before promptly leaving. FML.

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shocked&devastated - 14/05/2016 03:43 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out that my ex who broke up with me because he said he needed to experience dating around more is engaged to his gf of one year. We broke up a year ago. FML.

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blahdityblah - 14/05/2016 03:41 - United States - Rockford

Today, I put on lingerie to seduce my husband who works nights and sleeps during the day. When he woke up and came downstairs he sighed and said "no, I don't feel good". I walked away and put on my comfiest pajamas. FML

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keeks - 14/05/2016 03:36 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, my massage therapist told me I "missed a spot" shaving. FML

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Anonymous - 14/05/2016 03:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I met an amazing guy only to find out that he wants to get married right away. When I asked how old he really was he said he was 31 and is a teacher. I'm 17. FML

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DiamondAddict - 14/05/2016 03:31 - United States - Denison

Today, I was with my mother. On the way, a car full of younger boys pulled up on my side of the window. Instantly I look over and see some of the most beautiful boys. They were whistling, waving, and smiling. I waved back and smiled.. until I realized they were looking directly at my mother.

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Tell me you're not interested - 14/05/2016 03:15 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I got stood up again after being asked on a date by a guy in the city, the city being an hour drive away. This is the 5th time in a row, all by different guys on Tinder. FML

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jeremyr5678 - 14/05/2016 03:12 - Australia - Pymble

Today, after weeks of waiting I finally went on a holiday to the Solomon Islands. A country known for is amazing tropical climate. The day I arrived a cyclone hit and I was stuck inside with terrible food and had to cancel my 2 week holiday after only being there for 2 days. There goes $3000. FML

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lostinmayhem - 14/05/2016 02:55 - United States - Saginaw

Today I read a past conversation my fiance' had with another girl 4 years ago who is "just a friend" and realized 4 years later they're still having the same type of conversations. She wants him, I think he wants her. FML

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Lilypop - 14/05/2016 02:54

Today, I was told by my husband that if I didn't come up with $2500 by the end of the day our car would get repossessed. I do not drive said car or any car for that matter. But I somehow managed to get the money together... 5 minutes after the deadline. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML

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Today, I was drunk in a hotel lobby with some of my cousins. I went out on the patio to get some fresh air when I saw a black cat in the bushes. I went straight over to it and started to pet it. I realized too late that the black cat was actually a skunk. FML

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Today, we're finally at an age where my wife will try to negotiate how old she has to admit to being. It’s ridiculous. At her last doctor's appointment, she was asked her age, she’s 52 but claimed to be only 40, and I had to argue her up to admitting to 48. FML

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Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

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Today, I'd gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said, "Your phone's been buzzing." I had a text saying, "You're grounded" from my Dad. My "Take your birth control" had been going off for a half an hour while I was gone. FML

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Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

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