Your everyday life stories

megs925 - 12/05/2016 00:09 - United States - Florence

Today, I was sitting in a very important meeting at work while thinking about all my personal stress factors. In the process, I unconsciously let out a loud, deep sigh during a pause in the conversation. Everyone noticed. FML

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whyme - 11/05/2016 23:40 - United States - Miami

Today, I was asked by my neighbor (who is extremely hot) if I could fix her sink. My imagination led me too far.... I've been here staring at the sink for an hour with a hammer and not one time has she asked me for sex. FML

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Disappointed Mother - 11/05/2016 23:33 - United States - Springfield

Today, I asked my eldest daughter (who is 23 years old) to babysit her younger sister, who is 4. My oldest recently had a terrible divorce, and was texting her ex-husband all night long instead of watching her sister. I later found my youngest on our street, sleeping with a stray. FML

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Humpf - 11/05/2016 23:14 - Australia - Alexander Heights

Today my boyfriend cancelled our first date in months by saying we should stay home and save, fair enough if not an hour later he says he is going to Iron Maiden this weekend so basically i should stay home and save for the holiday we are both going on in 6 weeks. FML

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shehuckinfatesme - 11/05/2016 21:22 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I went to my fiance's straight from work. I stopped along the way to pick up a few little things, hoping to surprise her. After I presented the gifts, I hopped in the shower. She flipped and is now calling them 'guilt gifts' after seeing texts from my ex about her new job. 3 months ago. FML

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GamerChick - 11/05/2016 21:01 - United States - Marion

Today, I just spent most of my savings to pre-order the next expansion to my favorite video game, and bought a 6 month subscription to the game. Then my computer crashed, catastrophic hardware failure. I can't afford a new computer and my backup computer won't support the game. FML

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winchester97 - 11/05/2016 20:59

Today, I broke my toe by stubbing it on a steel-toed boot while wearing flip flops.Fml

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Anonymous - 11/05/2016 19:44 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, thinking I had shifted to reverse I accidently ran the car into the side of a restaurant denting the wall of the place. FML.

animallover - 11/05/2016 19:42 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had prepared a speech for a presentation I was giving. After all my hard work and suffering from anxiety for 5 days I was informed, 10 minutes before, that I would no longer be giving the speech but somebody who wasn't prepared for the speech would be giving it instead.FML

PhysicallyPathetic - 11/05/2016 19:42 - United States

Today, I had to run a mile in phys ed class. I ran it in 20 minutes, and then proceeded to pass out in front of everyone. FML.

ellisp1 - 11/05/2016 18:56 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my brother has a regional baseball tournament in Kansas City, almost a three hour drive, however I will not be attending due to there not being enough seats in the car. We are a family of 5, and the car holds 5, however our neighbor "really wants to see him play". FML.

shemakesmesandwiches - 11/05/2016 18:30 - United States - New York

Today, as my freshman year of college is drawing to a close, I realized I've struggled so much socially that the lunch lady is actually among my closest friends. I'm not even sure she likes me. FML

Corrupted College - 11/05/2016 18:29 - United States - Seattle

Today, I told my college RA that I would like to schedule an appointment to move out, because I'm switching rooms with a friend. He smirked, looking at his phone and said "we don't deal with that go ask the other dorm you are moving into". I can't move out until I get checked off by my own dorm. FML

nomoreblackwidows - 11/05/2016 17:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband's friends asked us if we could help them move to their new house. They had a hottub they forgot to mention that also needed to be moved, but when we lifted up the hottub, there was over 2 dozen black widows underneath the hottub.

juturnaamo - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, I took a girl in my class to the potty as soon as I got to work, at 9:00 I took her again at 10:00, 11:00, and 11:45. At 12:30, I had to change her pants because she pooped in them. FML.

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anonymous - 11/05/2016 16:25 - United States - Luverne

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because of a video game. We were together for a year and a half, and this isn't the first time this has happened. FML.

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we saw Marley and Me after this - 11/05/2016 15:52 - Ireland - Cork

Today, we brought our dog to the vet, because she was bleeding profusely out of her hoo-ha. The vet said she had an infected womb, and could have died the next day. My dad thought she'd been in heat. FML.

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Becca34 - 11/05/2016 15:07 - Switzerland

Today, I was talking to a seemingly sweet guy I met on an online dating site. I told him that I had recently broken my leg and was on crutches. He was very kind about it, until he asked "so, is it hard to fuck with your broken leg? Cause that's a deal breaker." FML.

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noname1215 - 11/05/2016 14:22 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed and developed a cold. Now whenever I sneeze or cough it feels like bloody murder in my mouth.

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stilllovehertho - 11/05/2016 12:27 - Australia - Launceston

Today, I told my ex-best friend I had developed feelings for her. Her reply, 'damn, I'm breaking all the hearts tonight'. FML.

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Vanilla - 11/05/2016 11:37 - United States - Jamesville

Today, I decided to mow my lawn. My lawnmower decided that it didn't want to steer left anymore, only to the right. I had about 50 square feet left to mow. 2 hours of work to get to this point, and now I can't even finish it. FML

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reallystinky - 11/05/2016 09:47 - Germany - Essen

Today, I have to skip classes to clean my kitchen. Why? Yesterday, the sewage of at least 6 apartments in my complex came through my kitchen sink, flooding everything while I was away. It looks better than it smells. FML

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Anonymous - 11/05/2016 09:17 - Australia - Eight Mile Plains

Today, after working a long shift at work I came home and collapsed on my bed only to look up and see a spider the size of my face staring at me from the roof, welcome to Australia. FML

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Punkey - 11/05/2016 08:10 - Russian Federation

Today, I went to see a doctor just to stay home instead of going to work (I am feeling healthier I could ever be). Doctor scheduled me a serious sinus operation. FML

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Balphleair - 11/05/2016 08:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, I walked in on my younger brother sticking his dick between the mattress and the bed base in the means of pleasuring himself. I felt so bad for him until I realized that I used to do the exact the same thing. FML

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KingSquisher - 11/05/2016 07:27 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bug flew into a light in my room that gets quite hot. I have spent the last 4 hours trying to get rid of the savory smell of grilled beetle. FML

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Anonymous - 11/05/2016 06:42 - United States - Flint

Today, after a long shift at a restaurant, I had to buy gas to get home with quarters, nickels and dimes. A man next to me sees me buying one gallon of gas, and tells the cashier to add his change to my order. I thank him. He comes out a minute later, saying he was just joking. FML

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TimmyBoy - 11/05/2016 06:32 - United States - Pinckney

Today, my new date took me to a nice resturant. Everything seemed to be going great. I actually liked the girl. After some time, my date got up to use the restroom. Shortly after, our server randomly appeared. He literally said to me, "You're the third one this week". FML.

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seanixjayde - 11/05/2016 06:10 - United States - Days Creek

Today, I spent my weekly allowence on cat treats and cat toys for my cat and her four kittens. I'm only 16 and I'm already a crazy cat lady. FML

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Bigboobiebraless - 11/05/2016 04:55 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I found out the only store in my city that sells bras in my size is closing. Shopping online has always been a nightmare, and the next nearest physical store I've been able to find, in years of searching, is over four hundred miles away. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

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Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

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Today, while I finished my business with my girlfriend, she asked if I used Viagra. I replied, "No I never use Viagra." She responded with, "You should." FML

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Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML

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Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML

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Today, my wife asked me when will my sex drive just stop. I'm only 39. FML

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