ForesttFiree

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

Affectionate, huh?

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

Ewwwwww

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "EW". FML