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Dead zone

By The Corner Of Death - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 140

Amazing idea, idiots

By zain - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 322

You deserved it 3 753

Salt meet wound

By max5 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France - Casseneuil

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 313

You deserved it 2 970

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working as a hotel guard, I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I asked him to move and he ignored me, continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyed and started to yell at him. After a few minutes, I realized he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 570

You deserved it 11 108

Management

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an hour-long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 946

You deserved it 2 132

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

Technicality

By Dartfrogger - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 3 065

**** my shit up

By hair2daygone4ever - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 970

You deserved it 4 862

Please explain

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 465

You deserved it 3 339

Cheers!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 025

You deserved it 7 535

Not joking

By sharibaby - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 242

You deserved it 4 172

How appropriate

By ohgod - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 936

You deserved it 8 050

Spoiled

By Beefy Man - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lehi

Today, I spent eight hours cutting, curing, and aligning on the racks, six months worth of beef to be dried for some tasty jerky, only to find out my dehydrator is broken beyond repair, and would cost as much to fix as the soon-to-spoil meat that I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 794

You deserved it 2 008

Merry Christmas!

By John Nani - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's Christmas Day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 489

You deserved it 29 912

Slap in the face

By deadmedia - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistency". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 532

You deserved it 3 942

Red scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 061

You deserved it 4 845

The one with the phone addiction

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, after feeling like I've been sucking as a friend and contacting a friend who has called me their best friend, but doesn't talk to me much, we grabbed a coffee. The whole time I was trying to have a conversation, she was on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 265

Morning commute

By muffdriver - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 640

You deserved it 4 288

Wedding fatigue

By takeiteasy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5 a.m., and the party was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 803

You deserved it 34 974

Not welcome here

By Imgonnahaveabf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 735

You deserved it 3 692

Lumpy

By CantBlink - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Jersey City

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 090

You deserved it 2 789

Woah!

By Mel - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 304

You deserved it 13 080

Wait, what?

By HereToLaughAtU - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Des Moines

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 894

You deserved it 4 903

They're indoctrinating our children… with pranks!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 816

You deserved it 4 008

Sketchy move

By anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Vaudreuil

Today, I went to see a hockey game. The announcer asked if anybody found a ring in the stands, because a girl lost hers. While he talked about it, I realised that I forgot mine in my pocket, so I took MY ring and put it on my finger. A guy saw me and thought I stole the lost one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 327

You deserved it 2 307

What the actual ****?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment building, in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 027

You deserved it 1 793

Tough crowd

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 496

You deserved it 30 708

Final destination

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 535

You deserved it 2 830

Bad joke, dude!

By Peterrulesall - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 3 466

Dropped the ball

By TrueStories - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 638

You deserved it 4 193

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after I applied for an IT position at work, and a coworker I’ve worked with for 3 years, who said she had no intention on applying, wished me luck and told me, "I hope you get it!" it's now a week later and it turns out she applied the next day, got the offer and accepted. I had to find out a week later from a different coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 103

Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 149

Today, my girlfriend trusted me enough to tell me that she's trans. I have no problem with this, the problem is my sister overheard her. She ran and told our parents, who are also our landlords, so now either I dump the woman I love or we'll both be homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 326

Today, I'm so bored during quarantine that I'm looking forward to the virtual doctor's appointment I made for next week, about the potential erectile dysfunction I might have. I'm also 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 207

Today, my wife lost her patience with her aunt but because she can't say anything to her, she takes it out on me. Then she also blames everything on me, in that I didn't do enough to make it stop. I went against my family and relatives to be with this woman, but I get treated as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 331

Today, my girlfriend went through my phone and computer and deleted all my videos and photos of my high school girlfriend, who died when she was only 16. Her excuse was that keeping those photos was emotional cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 111