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OP here. He is about 6 months old now, so not exactly a "kitten" anymore, but still. He is honestly the weirdest kitten I've ever had. He eats everything, opens all my kitchen & bathroom cabinets, somehow throws all my couch cushions on the floor, puts things in my sink & toilet, climbs up my walls, jumps inside my inclosed shower then knocks everything down inside, jumps on top of my flat screen and walks across the top, eats my hair in my sleep, and attacks everyone who comes into my house that isn't me. I have an slightly older cat (1y 6m) who had a stroke and now has some brain damage, and she thinks he is the weirdest thing ever! Lol! Luckily they get along well! I love him to death, but I was totally unaware of what I was getting into. Ha!

Be true to your team

By Thatgirl112 - 08/09/2016 03:59 - United States - Medina

Today, I went on a blind date. Things got hot and heavy, but when he pulled off my pants and saw the Pittsburgh Penguins logo on my thong he stopped and told me to get dressed and that he refused to sleep with the enemy. He was a die-hard Flyers fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 039

You deserved it 4 944

These jugs don't belong here...

By Busty - 21/11/2017 06:00

Today, Walmart was out of quart milk jugs except for one. When I went to grab it, I had to practically climb into the fridge. My boobs got stuck on the shelf on the way out, and it took a solid two minutes to wiggle my way free. I had an audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 826

You deserved it 1 030

By UFVKNP - 10/03/2017 16:00

Today, my coworker and I were swamped with coffee orders. I told him I would "take care of the blacks", and a customer who only heard that sentence screamed at me for several minutes about racism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 020

You deserved it 594

By bablessinbedsty - 05/05/2017 14:45

Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 461

You deserved it 642

Poop

By Roma - 16/06/2017 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 420

You deserved it 554

Hellooooo, Social Services?

By whatisthisshit - 17/03/2017 00:00

Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 491

You deserved it 741

By FarewellRalphs - 24/05/2017 20:00

Today, I went grocery shopping with my grandmother. Our bagger offered to help load our groceries, to which my grandmother replied, "Oh, what a nice young colored boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 217

You deserved it 360

By Anonymous - 05/06/2018 01:30

Today, I decided to not hang in the library after school like I usually do. When I got home, I found my father cheating on my mother with my girlfriend, who said she was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 252

You deserved it 382

By Anonymous - 05/02/2018 19:00

Today, my boyfriends mom walked in on us having sex. She is partially blind so she couldn’t tell what was going on. She had a full conversation while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 174

You deserved it 895

By permanently scarred - 25/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 976

You deserved it 267

By StateOfEuphoria - 24/07/2016 22:52 - United States - Petal

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 167

You deserved it 3 094

StateOfEuphoria tells us more.

StateOfEuphoria 17

Monday 25 July 2016 13:56

It's what I've always heard people call it, a sympathy gag reflex, but I'm sure there's a different name for it. its just where you gag at the sound of someone else gagging.

By Anonymous - 09/07/2018 15:00

Today, my stepson objected to being woken up at almost dinner time. He knows I have PTSD from my 2 tours of duty, so he turned his speakers way up and blasted the sounds of gunfire through the whole house. I hyperventilated and passed out. Little bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 348

You deserved it 384