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Leaky

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 12:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today I woke up to myself (24F) accidentally losing control of my bowels in bed. I’m not sick, just a food intolerance. The worst part is that my fiancé was sound asleep next to me and I had to wake him up to tell him what happened so I could wash the sheets and bed at one in the morning. He's is now sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 90

Casualty

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I bashed my head into the wall behind me yesterday and knocked myself flat while flinging my head back to get my hair in a ponytail, it still hurts, so I went to hospital. Yep, skull fracture with a slight inward depression. I might need surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 138

I'm so sorry

By tiptoppc - 07/05/2026 17:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my wife slept in my bed (she normally sleeps in another room because of my nightmares from PTSD). I fell asleep in 30 minutes and had a nightmare, in which I woke up to me kneeing her tailbone from an in-dream assault I fought back from. I hadn’t had these in a while, and now she’s injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 70

How can I put this…

By Jiffy - 09/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I test-drove a customer’s car to investigate a strange noise. I heard the exact clunk she'd described. It was actually a wrench I’d left under the hood sliding around and hitting things. I had to return and sheepishly explain that the problem was entirely my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 332

Thirty demons

By Tech BS - 15/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a high school teacher and I finally learned how to use the smartboard properly. I connected my laptop to demonstrate a lesson… and projected the last thing I had open: a half-written email complaining about how loud this exact class is. Thirty teenagers read it in silence. One kid raised his hand and said, “Fair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 420

Old boys' club

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I anonymously reported a coworker for a very serious breach of the rules. He was in the HR office for about 30 seconds, then came out laughing with the HR director, talking about a football match they both watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 107

We're here for you 24/7

By Anonymous - 20/04/2026 01:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I am once again dealing with severe depression and anxiety. I go through this cycle every three months. I’ve tried almost every antidepressant available and nothing helps. I’m sick of it and sick of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 117

Same as it ever was

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 575

Helpful advice

By Anonymous - 06/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I went to my doctor to discuss my chronic insomnia. After I'd spent ten minutes describing how exhausted I am and how it’s affecting my life, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Have you tried just closing your eyes and clearing your mind?" I paid a $50 copay to be told how to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 98

Running man

By Fresh and not fit - 24/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm training for my first half marathon so I went for a run in a busy park. I tripped on a completely flat path in front of about twenty people. Not only did I fall, but my wireless earbuds flew out dramatically in opposite directions. Some wise ass golf clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 98

Shifty

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after years of effort, I was finally able to open my own full body beauty salon. I’ve been open approximately two hours and I’ve had six genuine customers and three shifty looking dudes trying to ask, without saying the actual words, if we’re one of those rub and tug, happy ending massage parlours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 86

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 16:00 - United States - Palatka

Today, I came two times in a row, for the first time in my life. I'm 45 years-old and I was using my dildo on my myself. I was thinking of my ex, so that's proof my dildo is better. I've been missing out on myself for decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 76

Bad mom

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 16:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, because of my mom going on a drunken adventure, I now have a FBI file. I'm Canadian and my birth certificate proves I wasn't even alive when she pulled this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 49

What in the world…?

By May - 16/04/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, I noticed I was overcharged at a fast food place, so I asked the cashier to correct it. He got an attitude, so I asked for the manager. The next thing I know, some dude shoved me, yelling, "Shut the fuck up Karen." I fell and hit my head. People in line laughed and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 117

Quite the list

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 14:00 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, I have scoliosis, neck compensation, TMJ osteoarthritis, a small brain lesion, unilateral hearing loss in left ear, malocclusion dentally/skeletally, pelvic issues, knee issues, gait/feet/leg issues, asymmetric looks and aesthetic issues, and struggling with hobbies/entertainment because of hearing issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 75

i'm late

By Fluster time - 22/04/2026 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I work remotely and had an online meeting with clients in different time zones. I double-checked the time… or so I thought. I joined 30 minutes late, rushed in apologizing, only to realise I had actually logged into the wrong meeting entirely and interrupted another team’s presentation. My actual meeting had already ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 463

Big Tony

By lordoftheweird - 06/05/2026 07:00 - Canada - Cranbrook

Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 61

Dang!

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband allowed his 16-year-old daughter to get married. Every single objection and concern I had, they ignored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 79

I want to ride my bicycle

By Baddad - 15/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 528

Grammar police

By Tiyo Bob - 26/04/2026 06:00 - Philippines - General Trias

Today, after over 30 years, I visited my home country. My nephew was driving us around, with my daughter in the backseat, and I was proudly telling him about her MBA in English and Communication. We passed by a mugging, and she went, "Did you just seed what I just sawed!?" Without looking at me, my nephew just went, "....a degree in what again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 391

Let's push things forward

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 18:00 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I've spent 14 years building a life with someone who cheated, lied, and made me feel like my pain was “unattractive.” I stayed loyal, worked two jobs, and gave everything while he gave nothing. Now I’m left healing from a love that was never real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 148

Newbie

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Denver

Today, at my first office job, I tried to casually join a conversation about weekend plans. I said, “Yeah, I love hiking there,” even though I’d never been. Someone asked, “Oh, which trail did you do?” I panicked and said, “The main one?” Turns out there are six, and they all started debating them while I stood there nodding like I belonged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 598

Directions

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 21:00 - United States

Today, I had a hard time directing my dad to where we were supposed to throw out our broken toilets when we replaced them with new ones. I kept saying to go to the right. Unfortunately I was talking about MY right, not HIS right, and he was walking backwards. It wasn't until I said "other way" that he got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 394

More fiber

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 16:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, after several years of effort in fixing my diet, I finally have consistent, reliable, solid shits, this coming after many decades of loose stools that caused my to clog my toilets regularly with too much toilet paper. Only now, my consistent, reliable, solid shits clog my toilets instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 95

You learn something new every day

By Anonymous - 20/04/2026 13:00 - United States - Concord

Today, after 40+ years of marriage, I got Peyronie's disease. Thankfully, the missus is understanding. After months of treatment, the painful bend is a bit less so, but the scar tissue that causes the bend also does not expand. Because of this, I have lost a full 5 cm / 2 inches in length when erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 73

Overfamiliar

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to finally call my stepmom "Mom." She politely asked me not to call her that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 72

The yadda yadda yadda

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 19:00 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, I was walking around with a friend, who I assumed was beside me, but it turned out she'd left my side minutes ago and hadn’t heard my rambling that some random person had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 180

Dirty boy

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 05:00 - Mexico - Puebla City

Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 87

Cruel dilemma

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have both gout and diabetic neuropathy, meaning my feet are both too numb to feel pain while also being too painful to walk. It is not a fun sensation. Not at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 92

Close call

By NotKarenTrustMe - 19/04/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I called the Vietnamese teacher at my son's kindergarten by my Chinese colleague's name. Luckily, she didn't catch it. I'm not a racist, I was just tired after a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 105

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The Top

Today, and for weeks, I’ve had a rash of tiny little scabs all across my stomach and boobs. I’ve spent way too much money on creams that didn’t help, only to realise that my new kitten, when he is asleep on me and kneading my shirt with his claws, he was giving me hundreds of tiny scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 348

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 594

You deserved it 3 753

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 334

You deserved it 3 471

Today, I got random constipation followed by diarrhea. It's 1:30am and my sleeping medication is making me fall asleep, but every time I try to get off the toilet I get another diarrhea spasm. Either I fall asleep on the toilet or shit myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 009

You deserved it 230

Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 400

You deserved it 146

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 341

You deserved it 3 292