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Hey guys OP here! I asked the little girl if that was her parents and she nodded but 911 told me they were still sending an officer to be 100% sure that everything was accurate. The parents completely understood and were totally fine because they were glad I cared and took action. :)

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 352

You deserved it 8 372

By anonymous - 18/03/2011 07:35

Today, I went to the airport to start the amazing 3 week vacation in Costa Rica that I've been saving for and planning for more than a year. They wouldn't let me on the plane because my passport expires in less than 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 244

You deserved it 13 885

By Ape - 17/12/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 062

You deserved it 8 688

By sosadbuttrue - 14/01/2012 13:15 - Switzerland

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 206

You deserved it 28 009

Family time

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:25 - Israel

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 502

You deserved it 74 301

By ismerf19 - 22/12/2010 00:05

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 466

You deserved it 7 381

By alone - 23/09/2011 11:04 - China

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 786

You deserved it 4 812

By bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh - 21/06/2013 21:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 351

You deserved it 7 265

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 891

You deserved it 4 727

By b3ardown23 - 07/09/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 715

You deserved it 2 842

It doesn't exist

By getafucktoysomewhereelsedude - 16/05/2013 20:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 430

You deserved it 17 343

By tripb101 - 22/04/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 068

You deserved it 6 100

By FoxyManicLiar - 27/09/2010 21:06 - France

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 428

You deserved it 3 197

Racing stripes

By Wannabees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 505

You deserved it 38 243

Manlet issues

By falling short - 20/03/2015 15:26 - India - Mumbai

Today, my best friend confessed to having feelings for me. I've been in love with her for a long time, so I was ecstatic. She doesn't see herself ever going out with me, though, because she's a couple of inches taller and can't imagine herself "towering" over her man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 929

You deserved it 2 958

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 435

You deserved it 5 040

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 00:31 - United States

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 573

You deserved it 19 455

By The Bearded Woman - 29/05/2012 04:06 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 953

You deserved it 2 900

By Anonymous - 19/04/2012 14:14 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 465

You deserved it 24 885

By AzNFoo - 26/03/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 574

You deserved it 121 513

By Francoise3 - 18/03/2009 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I received an e-mail from the girls at work. It was an invite to lunch, but it said, "Lunch today at Camber's, PLEASE don't tell Françoise, I don't think any of us can take any more of her!" I'm Françoise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 093

You deserved it 19 471

By comfylap - 28/05/2010 23:30 - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 52

By Anonymous - 17/08/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 521

You deserved it 18 551

SoonFired tells us more.

SoonFired 0

Monday 17 August 2009 20:36

Wow, my first FML post. It's actually a government organization, dating is prohibited because of "Conflict of Interest." We are close to the same size physically. We both wear the middle of road medium size. In all reality, its our last names on the shirt, but it still sucks.