FML - The Follow-Up

Okay, okay. Let me clear up a couple things. lol. First, me and my husband were sneaking toppings, and I couldn't get the box shut again. I didn't think it would be a big deal, I had enough confidence in myself to make it from the car to the house without a mishap (foolishly.) Second, that was the last of just our spending money for the next couple days. I didn't go broke on pizza :) and lastly, the pizza did get replaced. we returned with the sad mess that was supposed to be dinner, we all wept a little, said a prayer for the pizzas that don't make it home, and they gave me a fresh new one :)

No, actually she yelled, "It should've been you b*tch!" And "what the h*ell?"

This was actually a few years ago when I was living in Dublin. Never seen that movie so they could well have plagiarised the idea from me! Another classic from this guy: With my toothbrush in his mouth-"you're not one of those people who cares when someone uses their toothbrush are you?" FML

OP here, thank you all for your concerns! I did injure myself, as some of you may of been wondering. As my tumble down the stairs began to slow down, I landed on my wrist funnily, breaking it. On the bright side my hiccups did go away! My family and I are going to remember this moment for awhile :). Again, thanks for the comments!

Hey all, OP here. Surprisingly, it turned out as a happy ending! My girlfriend asked my roommate to keep me busy for a while so she could run out and grab a birthday gift that she ordered at a local store since she couldn't fly it in with her. My roommate is still an asshat for choosing to give me a heart attack as a way to keep me busy, but it could have been a lot worse.

I made an account because this is my FML and wanted to comment on all the questions and whatnot. My boyfriend and I had been having problems for a while now, but we just had a beautiful daughter 7 months ago, so we wanted to do our best to make things work. The place we were renting had been sold and we didn't really have the money to afford a deposit and rent towards a new place since I was only working part time due to the baby, so we moved into his moms to save up for it. When he told me he wanted to break up, I knew in my heart that it was the right thing. Forcing something that wasn't meant to be isn't the way to go. His mother is an amazing person and isn't forcing me and my daughter out, rather helping me find a better job, get my license, and generally get my life together before I move out. He is actually looking for a place to move out himself. And it isn't at all awkward between us living together right now, especially since he is in the basement in his own room and I'm in the room upstairs with my daughter. We are taking the mature route, trying to stay friends for our daughters sake, and there really isn't any bad blood between us since I knew in my heart it was time to split as well. although it wasn't the best idea to move in with his mother but there wasn't any other viable options. I'm just thankful his mother understands my situation and is doing what she can to help me get back on my feet.

Can't believe this was published! OP here, as some you said, the date really did suck. But my brand new vacuum sucks even more! Did I do it right? I'll leave.

Hey Everyone, OP here. Thanks for all the support and making me laugh. Luckily he hadn't taken anything of value, although he had taken my shoes(ridiculous, I know). I was walking home from my job because my bike was also stolen. Again, FML. I had accidentally left my wallet at my house which is lucky for once. After being stabbed, someone had seen me bleeding, so they called 911. I'm no longer in the hospital as the wound wasn't serious, so I'm doing slightly better. Again, Thanks for the support.

Hey OP here. I guess I should clarify some things. Birth control was used, as like every other time. It happened to fail. We were together a few months and a few more after we found out. I don't believe in staying with someone solely because of a child. It's not healthy for anyone. We get along fine and he's excited to be a dad. Absolutely not great timing of course. But I do not believe in abortion. I didn't post this because I'm worried about money. I have a good full time job that I will return to after my mat leave. My heart hurts for him, not me. I've got my family here, I'll be ok. Thank you for the support!!

After posting this, I followed your suggestions and took it to the school. It turns out, it was two of my 'friends' who got a hold of my school pic, enlarged it, and made posters to put around. After some investigation, the school found them. You were right, the school was angry that they put my picture on display on school property without my permission. They got suspended for a week. Thank you guys for all your support and suggestions!

Hi guys, OP here. He is my ex now, because I decided that his aggressive undertones means I might be in for a repeat. He is pretty aggressive in general, and this is one of a few examples so its probably best to move on before its too late. I'm 22 years old and was abused at 16, so he doesn't understand how I couldn't be over it by now. I'm currently looking for other places to live because we live together. Thank you all for the positive support, I am going to try to get myself into a better situation as fast as I can.

Hey y'all! Just to clarify, my brother is the same age as me (we're twins). When I told him I wasn't going to like his post (it was just a video of a fireworks show), he took a chicken breast and slapped me. We were preparing chicken for dinner that night, so it was already out and thawed. I did end up getting salmonella, however, I'm not sure if it was from the slap or from eating the chicken itself at dinner. Either way, it was shitty. Also, about my username, I use it for a lot of social media accounts and I've had this account for a while. I know if you don't have an account, you can choose a name to post it under and it usually has to do with the post, but that wasn't the case here. Cheers!!

Hey, I'm the op and this is my first fml so I hope I'm doing this right. I thought I should say a few things based on some of the comments I read. No, I was not just being an asshat to everyone, I just posted a thread explaining myself and such. Shortly after I posted it I got banned for "attention seeking" and that's all the information I was given. Oh and all the people saying "******* emo" and such, I guess I look like the stereotypical emo, but seriously you could be a bit more mature about things.

OP here! Wow! I didn't really expect this to be posted, but cool that it did! I thought I might explain myself a little (although it does not make this less stupid). This actually occurred a few months ago on a final exam that was marked by an outside examiner. Thankfully the final grade also took another exam and an assignment into account, so I still got the final grade that I had expected (and actually completing the question is unlikely to have improved the grade). Before the exam started, we had five minutes to read through the questions, and I only got to read until question 9, so when completing the questions afterwards, I completely forgot to check the backside of the examination booklet (where question 10 was located). I know it was my own fault, but I am always really nervous - almost panick-y - when it comes to exams. I felt absolutely terrible afterwards, when I realised my mistake, but there was not much to do, as the exam was over by then. Thankfully it all turned out alright anyway. Thank you for all your feedback! I have been reading through all the comments and I appreciate what you have to say - even when you say "YDI", because I know I do. It was not very clever of me ;-)

OP here. I made an account just to respond to you guys! I live in the country, so I figured making a small clothes line for just my dress wouldn't be a problem.I guess it was just bad timing.The dog was an abandoned pet that was malnourished. Im a shelter volunteer, so we took him to a good home. :)

Hi, OP here. Great to see this published! A follow-up to what many pointed out - they did not actually ask me directly. Instead, they asked one of my friends "What's with her scar?". She already knew me during the accident and operation, so she said that it was an operation scar. However, the others started asking "Are you sure? Maybe it's a cover-up?" etc. The operation was less than a year ago, so I hope the scar will fade in time. I don't really care about their opinion, nor do I think that there would be anything shameful about a suicide scar - I rather thought this kind of stupidity was at least good for an FML. Let them think however they like.

No, he hasn't seen my feet. I found out he actually has asked nearly every person in the store because he hosts private foot fetish parties for clients. Part of me actually pities the man because he's just trying to make extra money, but I would never ever consider being part of those parties.

I didn't close my mouth while vomiting...The ground beef just kinda made it up there somehow.

OP here. My friend only knew I had dated one of the guys, but admittedly made me drive with him on purpose just to screw with me (I also think she wants us to get back to together). Driving with both of them just happened to be some bad luck, and I didn't have a chance to tell my friend about the awkward situation until afterwards. As far as the guys go, I didn't cheat on either one; I just never discussed my relationship with the first guy when I dated the second guy. It overall wasn't THAT bad of a ride, just incredibly uncomfortable with lots of questions and some sarcastic comments from both of them. It was like something out of a sitcom honestly

Hi guys, OP here. Thanks for some of your funny comments, they made me laugh! To answer some questions, no, I do not sleep commando, yes I had pants on and no I wasn't robbed. I had a friend over, who stayed 'till pretty late (around 5 AM), so I was extremely exhausted. So exhausted that I fell asleep with my sweatpants still on, as I normally sleep without pants (so I was very lucky). I woke up about 30 minutes later, in the elevator. I had locked myself out, naturally, but luckily my friend lives in the same apartment building as me, and she had a spare key. I'm glad she opened the door when I rang her bell at 5:45 in the morning. I never had problems with sleepwalking before, and I haven't sleepwalked since. I hang my keys on the doorhandle every night, so that if I somehow manage to turn the lock and open the door, the keys will slide right off on top of my feet. That should wake me up if it ever happens again!

Hey OP here! Yes, it was a very stupid move he made, but it WAS an accident! He got the mushroom confused with another which he thought was safe! Although I am very sad, I now have a strict "No feeding the rabbits!" rule! So my other 5 buns should be safe. He was also the rabbit my mother got me before she moved out of state for good so it's even sadder. And no I did not dump him, we've been together for 3 years and although I was pissed for a day or two, I forgave him because I know he wouldn't hurt my rabbits on purpose, he knows they are all like my little children! All of your comments cracked me up though so I'm glad I could get a laugh out of a sad situation. Thanks guys, you rock!

Hi, OP here, I created an account to better explain what happened. This actually happened a few months ago. I was at the beach with some friends and didn't have the time to change out of my swimsuit when my grandpa showed up. We only took one car and the beach wasn't very far away from my grandparent's house, so my grandpa agreed to pick me up from the beach and take to my eye doctor appointment. I couldn't drive home because I was getting drops in my eyes. Some very loud girls in their late teens/early twenties saw me get in the passenger seat, pointed at me and said "She's a hooker!" loud enough for me to hear. My grandpa's hard of hearing, so he didn't hear it. I was dressed in my swimsuit like pretty much everyone else on the beach. Everything else was in my beach bag.

OP here. All your comments have me in fits of laughter, and yes I do seem to have gained quite some leg muscle! For those asking why I hadn't seen the other toilets, it's because I thought the only thing around that corner was the post room, so I've never had a reason to go around there to find the other gents. Although I don't work in an office with all women, most are, and the issue of toilet placement has never come up when taking to the men. And before anyone else says about it, we do have lifts, but our boss gets annoyed at us if we used it. Thanks for getting this posted!

Hey! wow this was actually posted. I work in an apprentice, I do business and admin. I am only 19 years old. I have taken it up with my office manager and HR. These guys are just creeps and have been told to stay away from me. For those who say "well you must be doing something" I am not. I dress in jeans and a top, nothing is on show, and even if it was, it does not give them the right to ask where I live and that. I have never given out where I live. I actually have a boyfriend, and if they ask me out, I do tell them, but even if I was single it is none of their business. Thank you to everyone who did back me up, and to those who are saying I must be doing something, please just leave, I do not have time for your comments. I am not to blame here, the guy was, he is married, (could tell from the ring on his finger) and if he has kids, he should be so ashamed! I am only 19!

I did tell them before they ate it, I was handing over the plate to him as I told him what was in it. I would never give someone food without them knowing what was in it in case they were allergic; he just over reacted. I've never done drugs or was an issue child in the past so I'm not sure why he thought I put something else in them! Needless to say they loved the brownies once I convinced them it was just cinnamon.

I know he was kidding. My dad has an amazing sense of humor and I love him very much, but unfortunately for him, the person he was introducing me to doesn't have a sense of humor at all. She now glares at my dad and yells at him whenever he makes any jokes about me. So karma did happen, no revenge needed.

Hey, OP here. This actually happened last year when I was 16 years old, and I was broke as hell and almost agreed. But then his wife showed up and he pretended he didn't know me XD

Op here I happen to take regular showers and I have a boyfriend I've been with for 5 years so just because I may be a crazy cat lady does not mean I am single or smelly have a good day sir :)

OP here! I would love to move his litter box but in a one bedroom apartment it's pretty useless, unless I want the smell in the bedroom or living room/kitchen! As for shutting the door, I probably should! Took me a little while to realize what he was doing, since this is a recent habit of his. The little turd (pun intended) used to chill with me as I was getting ready and him meowing outside of the door is annoying as hell. But, yeah, all in all, I vacate the premises for a few minutes, light a candle and all is good :)

OP here. Look, there are LOTS of choices I *could* make, many of which have been offered here. There's nothing inherently wrong in a lot of the suggestions - they're just not suggestions I'm interested in following, honestly. I love my wife. I don't love anyone else; finding another outlet or a replacement for my beloved just isn't something I'm interested in. It's not that she's unsympathetic, necessarily, as much as it's just not something she can do or address; she has her own issues, and they're a big deal to both of us. I can't talk to her about it, because of her issues - it's just too much pressure on her, and I'm not willing to put that on her. I'd far rather bear the burden of my own problems than put them on her. Thanks for the empathy and comments.