Miscellaneous: Yesterday's news

Yesterday's news

By rofld - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 021

You deserved it 28 356

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 3 444

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 26 224

By prisym - 30/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 801

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 849

You deserved it 1 863

Fresh and not Fit

By Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 819

You deserved it 54 659

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 11:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 114

Hi there!

By Anonymous - 25/09/2025 20:00

Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 133

By leaf hater - 17/11/2011 12:43 - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 972

You deserved it 2 375

By tash - 24/05/2011 12:33 - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 986

You deserved it 9 462

Blowback

By Bleh! - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 1 069

Intoxicunt 5

Wednesday 14 July 2010 23:15

You must've had some tall grass to not notice a newspaper.

JCo352 3

Wednesday 14 July 2010 23:19

I would have just sprayed it with a hose, it's biodegradable.

Comments

fricgm 6

Thursday 8 December 2011 4:50

vaccuum cleaner?

rooboy 16

Friday 20 April 2012 15:05

Maybe you should watch where your going?

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:18

It might not be normal, try using a hoover?

cl4ptp 18

Sunday 2 September 2012 0:32

use a rake?

obri98 10

Monday 31 December 2012 11:08

Use a vacuum lol :P

nicholasj96 9

Tuesday 20 August 2013 3:09

I would've just let nature do it's job with that one .

Teckzilla 21

Wednesday 15 April 2015 6:50

Well, you know your blade's sharp!

spencer3000 9

Wednesday 6 January 2016 6:13

A lawn in NY? YDI.

Dr_Awesome654 24

Friday 23 September 2016 2:21

Ever heard of a rake?

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The Top

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 213

You deserved it 1 011

Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 099

You deserved it 2 606

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 138

You deserved it 29 321

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 122

You deserved it 16 902

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 1 738

Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 543