Miscellaneous Yesterday's news - FML

Yesterday's news

rofld - - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

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Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

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prisym - 30/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML

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racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

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Fresh and not Fit

Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

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Many such cases

Anonymous - 29/03/2025 11:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML

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Hi there!

Anonymous - 25/09/2025 20:00

Today, my neighbor waved at me while he mowing his lawn. Wanting to be friendly, I waved back. In doing so I tripped on the curb, fell onto my own trash can, and rolled halfway into the street. He didn’t stop mowing. FML

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leaf hater - 17/11/2011 12:43 - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

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tash - 24/05/2011 12:33 - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

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Blowback

Bleh! - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML

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Intoxicunt 5

Wednesday 14 July 2010 23:15

You must've had some tall grass to not notice a newspaper.

JCo352 3

Wednesday 14 July 2010 23:19

I would have just sprayed it with a hose, it's biodegradable.

mnwv 3

Thursday 15 July 2010 3:20

lol dude why all u need is a leaf blower fck the neighbors it's their problem now

bookbee 2

Thursday 15 July 2010 4:12

Rake - look into it.

inferno2080 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 4:13

I've ran over paper before and what you do is you keep going back over it with the lawnmower and eventually the pieces will be so tiny and blended up theyll be stuck between the blades of grass and will be barely visible.

bludangl 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 4:41

that's awsome

Primus_fml 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 4:42

Not only did you have to pick up the pieces of the newspaper, but now you won't able to read it! The horror!!

sadistmonkey 19

Thursday 15 July 2010 5:01

YDI for taking hours to pick up newspaper confetti. How the hell does it take that long??

Merin 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 5:07

Um, why did you bother? Newspaper can be excellent fertilizer for a lawn. Also, try a rake next time. YDI.

futboljem 1

Thursday 15 July 2010 5:15

how do you not notice a newspaper on the lawn. You fail for not seeing it YDI.

sykes831 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 6:05

get a hand vacuum thing.

little_guy98 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 6:26

do you know how to use a rake

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

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Today, I went to court to get custody of my son from my ex. I was denied because I spelled his name wrong on the court filing. FML

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Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML

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Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML

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Today, my 1 month old kitten peed all over my kitchen floor. I wanted to get some water out of one of drawers and slipped on the piss. My phone shattered and i dislocated my arm. FML

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Today, I went to the new Walmart to buy a space heater. After dodging cones in the parking lot and trying to open several doors while employees looked on, I checked the sign, which said "24 hours." I then realized it stated that the grand opening is tomorrow. I'm now sitting in my apartment, shivering. FML

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