When you have to raise the bar... By Lewis - 27/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris Not much though... Just a bit higher. I agree, your life sucks 263 You deserved it 114 Share Tweet Share
Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML I agree, your life sucks 100 364 You deserved it 9 111
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML I agree, your life sucks 267 646 You deserved it 90 960
Today, my friend invited me to go on vacation with her and friends, saying we would all share a suite. I booked my flight. The trip is almost here and she now tells me there is no room for me and I have to get my own room. This is the second time she has done this. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 050 You deserved it 2 297
Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 671 You deserved it 1 661
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML I agree, your life sucks 60 488 You deserved it 10 395
Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 84 126 You deserved it 4 203
Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML I agree, your life sucks 391 You deserved it 74
Today, my idea of partying is vacuuming the house. Because that’s the only time when I have a legitimate excuse to wear headphones, listen to music and not be available for my grandma to call out to me because she wants something or other. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 427 You deserved it 166
Savage
she sounded like a lamb after kissing that bar with her head.....