Miscellaneous: Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a... - FML

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 03:30

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 169

You deserved it 2 930

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 395

You deserved it 51 016

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 024

You deserved it 97 633

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 830

You deserved it 4 132

Flustered

By Bradley is alone - 09/11/2025 09:00

Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 545

It wasn't me, or him

By ev_lyn_aw - 17/05/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 903

You deserved it 292

Law and order

By Karen - 15/08/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 101

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 611

You deserved it 4 601

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 406

You deserved it 4 666

Hey you

By Anonymous - 10/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 122

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 118

You deserved it 2 449

Next

Top comments

UmmOkThen 31

Saturday 14 March 2015 19:17

You guys can have something in common now.

EatUrGreens 20

Saturday 14 March 2015 19:17

Hope you had enough bags to clean the mess lol and thankfully you got away too :)

Comments

Chiishinchu 13

Sunday 15 March 2015 0:57

You know what they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

rockwrench 18

Sunday 15 March 2015 2:46

Sounds like your dog shit himself too.

spike7447 13

Sunday 15 March 2015 4:31

Lmfao!

wvcheesehead 13

Sunday 15 March 2015 4:52

Were it me someone may have reported a shit and run, because that is exactly what I would have done.

sunnyskys 25

Sunday 15 March 2015 5:38

damn shit just got hairy no pun intended

flyerpretender 3

Sunday 15 March 2015 18:46

Talk about sh*ttin on the argument!!!

mellib381 15

Monday 16 March 2015 5:31

I'm sorry but this is hilarious.

vincent57_fml 14

Monday 16 March 2015 15:32

That dog is hardcore.

thebosslikeaboss 18

Monday 16 March 2015 16:09

You gotta go when you gotta go... Close your eyes, give it a shove!

Nevrdai 5

Tuesday 17 March 2015 8:01

Maybe your dog just wanted to express his thoughts on the shitty situation.

1
2
3
4
5

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 045

You deserved it 24 563

Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 83

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 756

You deserved it 8 421

Today, after months of planning the perfect night with my brother, who was coming home for two weeks from the military, he cancelled because he "missed his dog". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 496

You deserved it 1 519

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 527

You deserved it 1 930

Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 968

You deserved it 32 852