By ._. - 05/06/2013 00:08 - United Kingdom - Letchworth

Spicy
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 92 861
You deserved it 8 869
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Top comments

SammyS2012 21

Wow... that is beyond words... Try to remind her how nice sex can be? (obviously without rape)

442 12

Comments

Bex628 20

Wow... No one should ever say or hear that. Marriage is when you're SUPPOSED to be getting down and dirty with each other.

4 2
Rainbow_Crash 11

I'm an asexual female and as much as I've wanted to get married one day, things like this are the reason I'm scared to. I wonder why I would even bother getting married when, more than likely, my love and intimacy alone (to me, sex and intimacy are two different things) wouldn't be enough to keep him without having sex with him. I'm pretty sure that I would end up unmarried for the rest of my life because I don't want sex and most men do and what's the point of me being with him if I can't be sexual for him? Personal anecdote aside, if you aren't happy, I suggest talking to her about her issues/opening the relationship/what have you. If talking to her doesn't result in a solution, marriage counselling could be the next step. What you SHOULDN'T do is cheat on her or give her an ultimatum, i.e, "If you don't have sex with me, I'm going to leave you/cheat on you/etc". It doesn't matter if she's asexual or not. if you're truly unhappy, feel free to leave, but explain to her why and DO NOT BLAME HER. It makes it easier for the both of you if you decide to divorce in the event that you cannot work out the issue.

8 1
Alicestraza 33

I don't think the actual lack of sex is the major problem here so I wouldn't worry too hard about that. So long as you are clear and honest about the fact that you two are never going to have sex then I don't think it'd be a massive problem. Don't wait til you're married to tell them.

6 1
Rainbow_Crash 11

Oh, no. I would never do that. Since finding out, I tell him during the dating process and he usually begins to back away. It's sad, but I also consider it a blessing in disguise. It's better than the guys who say they have no problem with my asexuality, then stick around because he thinks I'll miraculously give in. I wouldn't say I would never ever have sex (I would like children one day), but it doesn't interest me in the slightest and could easily go my entire life (I'm a virgin) without it.

6 0
jemiller226 13

Congrats for being forthcoming. It can't be easy, but it's the right thing to do.

6 0
Ray_of_midnight 22

Find a gay guy you like who's looking for a marriage of convenience? Or find a dude you get along wonderfully with emotionally and intellectually, and whom you love...but encourage him to find sex outside the marriage? Those things work for some people.

1 4
Rainbow_Crash 11

Why marry a gay man? He's not sexually or physically attracted to women, so I wouldn't ever put that kind of thing on him. I cannot, personally, fathom an open relationship, so I guess my only chances are to either never marry or compromise in some way. I think it'll end up being the former.

2 0
jim196802 2

there are asexual men out there who would be just as happy as you are to be in a relationship and have intimacy without sex. I don't think asexuality is more prevalent in one gender but I could be wrong. I do know tha there are plenty of women who are stuck in marriages with men who don't want sex and they are as unhappy as am n would be with a wife who doesn't want sex. It is a myth that men are more sexual than women, if that were true who would all us guys be having sex with?

2 0
davincidasecond 24

235 - Or you could find an asexual man. You never know, it could happen. :)

2 0
hwayhwayhway 2

I am asexual as well and only came to realize it in the last year or so. My fiance was very accepting about it, even though they are interested in sex. Our relationship is so much more than sex that not having it has not hurt us in the least. I realize not everyone is in the same boat with regards to sex and relationships.

1 0
lochiamochia 25

You aren't alone, OP..... *sigh* My husband says the same thing... F Our Lives

3 0
TisAPenguin 16

This is the kind of bullshit that makes men NOT want to get married.

2 1
furbyface711 9

That's when you respond with "I didn't realize I was now expected to find it elsewhere."

3 3
tenac71 6

women like her are the reason men don't want to get married.

4 2
MrTaco0007 3

Sorry I might cry for you Crying a lil in my man heart

1 1