Miscellaneous: Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting...

By notabeliever - 29/07/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 773

You deserved it 7 212

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By crapedup - 10/10/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 3 078

Cristal mommies

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 23:00 - United Kingdom - Barking

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 214

By Ringless - 25/02/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 319

You deserved it 3 620

Equality

By Anonymous - 03/12/2020 22:05 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I gave my wife a £55 gin Advent calendar. She gave me a £1 one with chocolates i don't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 256

Low blow

By Anonymous - 09/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 890

You deserved it 3 981

In the zone

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 20:00

Today, my wife was painting in the garage when she unplugged a random plug to charge her stupid, smelly vape without thinking about what it was she was unplugging. It was the large chest freezer. About £500 in meat and the entire bottom tier of our wedding cake defrosted and ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 156

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Utica

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 707

You deserved it 3 475

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 02:02 - United States

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 359

You deserved it 5 257

All scammed out

By Anonymous - 14/06/2015 15:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 734

You deserved it 3 438

Irrational response

By Anonymous - 19/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 110

EffTrae 0

Friday 29 July 2011 11:44

Tofu cake? magic healing crystals? Homeopathic remedies? Who buys stuff like that

NitroTonicsFML 4

Friday 29 July 2011 11:41

Chocolate teapot? o_o

Comments

KestrelGirl 15

Friday 21 March 2014 22:20

Homeopathy works. (I've tried it... I'm a total health nut.) But healing crystals? ... :/

DoomedGemini 37

Saturday 28 March 2015 7:52

You married her knowing how she does things and her attitude. She should be able to buy what she wants if it's money she has earned. If you are low on money why don't you TALK to her rather than mock her?

Mibby 11

Tuesday 14 July 2015 21:40

MMm, chocolate teapot.

treeboshazamm 4

Sunday 8 May 2016 21:22

@lectricpharaoh Amazing. A coherent and well argued point.... It's both sad and wonderful that the world can contain views and opinions that can exist without even the shakiest of frameworks of truth.

SmashingOyster 4

Sunday 3 July 2016 15:58

homeopathy can actually work really well (at least for me)

the_tofu 17

Thursday 6 September 2018 9:45

While I understand the chocolate teapot metaphore....how fantastc would a solid chocolate teapot be!!! A whole tea set of solid chocolate! taking a nibble from the spout or the cup.... Mhm...chocolate... so that´s the thought that will sustain me during the work day. Have a good one!