Intimacy: Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing...

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 01:49 - United States

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 651

You deserved it 2 566

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Same thing different taste

By Andrew - 20/04/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 430

You deserved it 11 758

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 107

You deserved it 3 096

By Anonymous - 28/12/2017 06:00

Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 947

You deserved it 7 193

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 304

You deserved it 4 602

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 123

You deserved it 5 325

By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 672

You deserved it 16 482

In the mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 309

You deserved it 214

I'm horny, horny horny horny

By It was a mistake!! - 12/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 667

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 227

You deserved it 555

Too much information

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 10:00 - United States - Peyton

Today, my wife of twelve years got drunk and told me the best sex she’s ever had was with her first ex after they broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 195

seanseansean321 0

Monday 15 February 2010 9:32

time to ditch her and find you a new lady :/

Laurendorcus 0

Monday 15 February 2010 9:42

You should get her saying that on tape and play it back to the judge during your divorce hearing. :-)

Comments

banana987 7

Tuesday 30 July 2013 4:25

Time for divorce papers I suppose

Jojosmojo 3

Wednesday 2 April 2014 21:34

Can't your wife try anal if she's worried about sex whe she's on the blob?, ways and means!

cadillacgal79 32

Saturday 19 April 2014 13:45

I'm sorry man, but now at least you know what a ***** your wife is (and I don't think that was the alcohol talking.)

imbatmanfir 15

Thursday 29 May 2014 20:38

Poor guy :(

jmaine1 4

Friday 17 July 2015 16:31

marriage counseling and sobriety. the two things your relationship needs

schreibergx93 19

Monday 23 November 2015 17:32

Many people here are prude. 1. Drunken comments can be funny, and I know this one sucks. But, he can take it lightheartedly and discuss it when she's sober. 2. What does he do when he's drunk? Maybe he says some crazy things.