Intimacy: Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating.... - FML

By camp - 03/03/2009 22:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 135

You deserved it 27 633

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Same thing different taste

By laughingflame - 04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 183

You deserved it 12 930

Cast the first stone

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 17:48 - Romania - Buzau

Spicy

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 690

You deserved it 3 457

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 804

You deserved it 5 880

By ygma - 01/12/2015 16:39 - United States - Mansfield

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 459

You deserved it 2 766

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 351

You deserved it 36 322

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 055

You deserved it 8 986

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 629

You deserved it 2 300

By Anonymous - 03/10/2013 05:24 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 666

You deserved it 5 610

Creepy

By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/09/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 655

You deserved it 2 245

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Spicy

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 398

You deserved it 2 299

Next

Top comments

BeautyAndBrains 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:39

Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.

neonoodle 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:42

What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.

Comments

Ole_Stinker 0

Friday 6 March 2009 22:53

Advice from Billy Connoly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqnUceOIEHE Just remember that first line: "Thank God you're here!"

LiLOnE 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 3:27

...#4 u sick freak naw its normal NOT to do that...get it strait

footcheezeez 16

Thursday 10 November 2011 6:42

You are a complete douchebag! Every normal person jacks off at least once in their life, and it is completely natural. (straight. Get it straight.)

Donna_chan 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 18:48

hey look at it this way....u might find a real girlfriend there! :D

habbybouline 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:40

LMAO

emilym49 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 3:43

DON'T GO! i just watched Jesus Camp... scary stuff

shotgunhr 0

Friday 3 September 2010 1:19

Jesus camp is different. they pressured those kids way too much. bible camp isn't like that

NoKo_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:53

#54 it is normal to do that, ******* tug away nothing wrong with it

yokiedinosaur 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 8:31

bible camp sex is the best, though

kenltd 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 14:11

Bible Camp?!? Dude, you are so getting laid!!!!!!!!!!!

RavensRule97 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 19:03

im with 60

SRMB4life 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 19:18

I'm also going to agree with 60 and 61. The ones who act the holiest, are the freakiest ones behind closed doors. Either that or you'll come back a cult leader. Good luck!

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Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 467

You deserved it 11 653

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 385

You deserved it 16 595

Today, I read that food cravings are only supposed to last a couple of minutes. I have been craving and dreaming about pizza for a month straight, and the urge is only getting stronger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 249

Today, my boyfriend whipped out his proverbial notebook, where he obviously keeps notes of what I do and how I act during sex, and then grilled me about every single one of those things. Now I'm scared to do anything because I don't want to be interrogated about it later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 681

You deserved it 315

Today, I saw my grandfather kick my dog, who is a 6-pound chihuahua, across the room. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me for having "too much sex during the apocalypse" and "invading my brain with your pancakes." This man is my legal guardian for 3 more years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 156

Today, I hooked up with a freshman at a party. No foreplay, just a quickie. The boy was a virgin, had phimosis, and didn't know. He started to bleed and scream, causing everyone from the party to gather around the bathroom door. He left with his dick bleeding and now everyone is saying I have a snapping vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 996

You deserved it 1 547