Pregnancy and Kids: Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 21:57 - Egypt

Spicy

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 166

You deserved it 7 788

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Same thing different taste

By Erica - 09/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 564

You deserved it 709

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 05:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 110

You deserved it 12 247

Three is a magic number

By Jenny - 05/04/2020 23:00

Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 332

You deserved it 506

By fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 897

You deserved it 17 022

By younggrammy - 20/08/2009 20:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 251

You deserved it 45 534

Great plan, kiddo

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 16:00

Spicy

Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 404

The state of sex ed…

By UnhappyGrandmama - 22/09/2022 23:00

Spicy

Today, my 17 year-old daughter texted me, “Mom I’m pregnat” Yes, exactly how you see it spelled. She’s a senior in high school. Oh, and she doesn’t know who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 442

By SadMother - 04/10/2014 19:52 - United States - South Windsor

Spicy

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 928

You deserved it 11 973

Sex ed

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 05:01

Today, despite warning her multiple times, my daughter has gone and got herself pregnant by an idiot who has never held a job for more than 3 months, and once confidently told me the moon landing was a conspiracy. And yes, he scarpered the second he found out she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 14:15 - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 792

You deserved it 2 883

Next

Top comments

meirginsburg18 10

Wednesday 18 December 2013 0:18

looks like Jesus 2

L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20

Wednesday 18 December 2013 0:22

Oops daughter

Comments

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 18 December 2013 3:33

They should really start teaching sex ed in schools again

abbey728 16

Wednesday 18 December 2013 3:38

Is her name Mary?

Zebediabolical 40

Wednesday 18 December 2013 3:47

It is my understanding that a lot of people don't count anal sex when talking about virginity. And if it is unprotected leakage/runoff can cause problems.

calliet145 14

Wednesday 18 December 2013 4:08

'Tis the season...?

JoeyJaws68 18

Wednesday 18 December 2013 4:09

She's probably just uncomfortable talking about sex with you

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 18 December 2013 4:11

DNA testing will prove...unless Christ is coming back via birth...

salic77 11

Wednesday 18 December 2013 4:13

According to religious people this is possible. Love idiots.

Clay_Pidgeon 11

Wednesday 18 December 2013 4:18

only if the baby is gonna be part Mexican.

Smoxxii 17

Wednesday 18 December 2013 4:18

This takes having imaginary friends to a whole new level.

AwesomeisAustin 1

Wednesday 18 December 2013 4:22

its the Anti Christ

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Today, after receiving our marriage certificate, I told my wife about it. She responded with "fml". FML

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Today, I got excited when my cell phone lit up because I hadn't received a single phone call all day. Turns out it was the "low battery" indicator. FML

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Today, I went to a job interview, and the interviewer asked me to give an example of a time I went above and beyond for a customer. I proudly told him about the time I drove a customer home when their car broke down. The interviewer then asked me if I had any examples from a professional setting. FML

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Today, I learned that I’m being forced to go back to a position I do not want, or find a new job. I’ve been with the company for 12 years. FML

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Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

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