Animals Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

negin - 22/03/2011 07:23

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

SHUT UP

Anonymous - 21/07/2019 16:15

Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML

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welcome to the neighborhood - 28/04/2016 23:35 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

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Meat is murder

lanbon182 - 10/04/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

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the_music_major - 19/10/2010 01:09 - United States

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

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Overrun

Anonymous - 30/10/2025 03:00

Today, after I warned my wife that keeping chickens wouldn’t be easy but no, she insisted on having 20 roaming around and at some point a wild cockerel got in, plus she clearly wasn’t finding all the eggs so a bunch of hidden eggs have started hatching. What once was 20 is now 67 and rising. FML

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Rizmo - 25/09/2016 07:11 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

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Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

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MyEarsHurt - 16/09/2012 23:01 - United States - Stockton

Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML

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anon - 20/07/2011 07:55 - Canada

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

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Isn't that illegal?

Ryan Engle - 29/07/2021 02:01

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML

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mendozaale 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:43

well when life gives u rooster u make fried chicken

FMLephant 2

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:48

Leave your neighbor's **** alone!

Mad_Chef13 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:06

****-a doodle-doo

amarie366 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 0:23

looks like someone likes ****

Sexysportsbabe4 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:07

Haha ***** 4 u

valri3 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:10

If it gets to annoying, then you can always bake/fry/grill the darn thing.

Shyke 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 18:06

Actually.. if OP died that then their neighbor could press charges... so I wouldn't give that advice.

bluefairy_fml 24

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:11

Big deal! The solution is simple: earplugs.

Katie_the_Great 6

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:14

it's not that bad, I'm sure you are just overreacting

LiveLaughLaugh 9

Wednesday 23 March 2011 2:58

I agree... it would only really be bad if they sleep with the windows open, or the rooster has a megaphone...

nohugs4u 8

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:23

It really isn't that bad..

Happygofucky 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:25

I thought my cats were bad getting me up at all hours, wanting food and cuddles.. A ******* rooster? FYL indeed.

CaliforniaCheese 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 16:26

Hahaha, I can't decide why this is the funniest quote for this FML but IMO it is!

amber609 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:30

....cool? haha that sucks....;)

A7X_LoVeee 10

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:30

Hey look on the bright side.. now you won't have any trouble getting up for work/school!

mikolyshka 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 16:22

not unless the rooster is time-challenged. my neighbor's rooster crows at times like 3am.

Shyke 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 18:08

Uhhmmm... you know that roosters don't only crow at dawn, right?

awesomeamandas 37

Tuesday 20 September 2016 13:03

roosters crow at all hours of the day. it's only on tv that they crow at the brink of dawn.

1234USMC 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 12:35

what's the matter dog. can't you learn to appreciate the smell of **** in the morning.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

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Today, I had to chase after my dad through a closing garage door to stop him from driving off fuming and doing something stupid. He recently got betrayed at work and called my mom's friend her boyfriend. I'm 27, living at home, don't want kids, no girlfriend, few, if any, good friends, likely unemployable because of resume gaps and bipolar. FML

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Today, I was walking down the street and saw a man trip over a sign. He then grabbed his cane, started screaming, and began beating the sign. Apparently that didn't release his anger, so he began to beat the nearest car. I thought it was hilarious, until I noticed it was my car. FML

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Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML

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Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

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Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

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