Health: Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we...

By Anonymous - 02/11/2013 17:34 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 665

You deserved it 5 689

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Rage

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 10:14 - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 4 364

Cold dish for dinner

By Zia - 25/03/2026 20:00

Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 898

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 196

Touch crowd

By Ouch - 17/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got home from work and was immediately greeted by my wife following me around, moaning and complaining endlessly. I got so fed up that I went into the fridge, cut some cheese, and gave it to her, saying, "Some cheese to go with the whine." She broke the plate over my head. It was worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 182

By serendipity1027 - 30/10/2010 13:40 - France

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 843

You deserved it 8 900

Sounds like a swell guy

By Crying - 01/03/2022 02:00

Today, I ate a slice of pizza that was left in the oven. Turns out it was my husband’s and he threw a tantrum over it. I profusely apologized and his response was, “Sorry is the cheating I’m gonna do if you keep this childish shit up!” He says stuff like that because he knows I can’t afford to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 18:31 - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 572

You deserved it 4 522

By Zoey - 09/02/2012 15:17 - Canada

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 860

You deserved it 6 193

Childish doofus

By -__- - 26/12/2015 13:41

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 3 009

Nyx_fml 23

Sunday 3 November 2013 1:42

After an argument, ALWAYS let the cook have the first bite.

olpally 32

Sunday 3 November 2013 1:45

You may have the ***** later op, STOP EATING NOW!

Comments

bman5064 11

Monday 4 November 2013 7:15

Prepare your anus for hell

middlenamefrank 8

Monday 4 November 2013 16:51

Nothing. He ate it too. He's just trying to exercise his Jedi mind tricks, which only work on feeble minds.

MaySFML 4

Monday 4 November 2013 18:42

Tell us, please.

lenehey 7

Tuesday 5 November 2013 2:08

With the level of maturity demonstrated by your husband, I would be thinking "divirce." That he would even consider adulterating your food shows (a) he was wrong and ran out of rational arguments, and (b) he lacks the tiniest amount of self respect and respect for OP to man up and admit it. Move on, OP!

allliseee 8

Wednesday 6 November 2013 1:16

That's why I cook after fights. For myself, not for others.

DevilsAltair 8

Saturday 9 November 2013 6:56

Maybe he was just happy that u ate it?

Jeffy91 28

Tuesday 19 November 2013 9:46

I doubt he did anything to it. Its called acting. I do that to people all the time, making them think I done something or that Im gonna do something, when in all reality I've done nothing and dont plan to do anything. haha. Its easy to mess with other peoples minds.