Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my...

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 324

You deserved it 29 275

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 860

You deserved it 6 357

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 137

You deserved it 23 561

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 411

You deserved it 3 206

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 634

You deserved it 6 234

Heated gamer moment

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 00:00

Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 730

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 7 410

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 229

You deserved it 10 883

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 176

You deserved it 14 899

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 167

You deserved it 13 433

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 136

carlycrf 8

Monday 17 January 2011 16:05

did you swallow?

iHaveADream_ 0

Monday 17 January 2011 16:03

hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;

Comments

symphonicx 2

Monday 17 January 2011 20:05

i hate it when people post funny shit that their partner does as FMLs when it was clearly a fun and jokey situation.

deven329 1

Monday 17 January 2011 20:19

at least ur mouth wasnt open :P

Humanspider 18

Saturday 10 December 2011 12:46

That would have sucked. Oh my god, I just made a pun. Help me.

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 17 January 2011 20:21

Medic!!

vballchik3575 0

Monday 17 January 2011 21:24

Buzz Kill hahaha

loleepops 10

Monday 17 January 2011 21:33

That is an epic win. Props to your girlfriend :)

notsoluckypup 12

Monday 17 January 2011 21:43

Ya shoulda opened your mouth so you know how a woman feels when she gives you a *******...

unknwnhooligan 0

Monday 17 January 2011 21:44

probably the funniest FML I have seen on here:)

IneffableLullaby 13

Monday 17 January 2011 22:24

I think your girlfriend plays too much Call of Duty. :p

xf06 1

Tuesday 18 January 2011 0:25

damn. usually the ppl that post shit on FML arnt this hot!

kayjay10 0

Monday 17 January 2011 22:27

hahahahhaahhaa

xcrystal011 2

Monday 17 January 2011 22:51

hahahahahaha xD

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 696

You deserved it 3 612

Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 569

You deserved it 5 185

Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 258

Today, I was going to an event with my friends and I'd told them I could pay for an Uber since I had a coupon for 70% off. It was only going to cost 5 bucks, but later I looked at my bank statement and an additional 15 bucks was taken from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 113

Today, I arranged a date with a girl online I really get along with, because frankly we both have a filthy sense of humour and love sexting. At the date, it turns out she’s deaf, which is not a problem, but she brought her sister as an interpreter. Without our usual conversation, it was just painfully awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 145

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 342

You deserved it 1 831