Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my...

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 324

You deserved it 29 275

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 860

You deserved it 6 357

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 137

You deserved it 23 561

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 411

You deserved it 3 206

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 634

You deserved it 6 234

Heated gamer moment

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 00:00

Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 730

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 7 410

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 229

You deserved it 10 883

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 176

You deserved it 14 899

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 167

You deserved it 13 433

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 136

carlycrf 8

Monday 17 January 2011 16:05

did you swallow?

iHaveADream_ 0

Monday 17 January 2011 16:03

hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;

Comments

zeke42 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 10:24

damn, **** star distance!!

dealerdon 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 10:36

ram it in her ass next time ur doing it doggie style she will learn

tony1891 22

Tuesday 18 January 2011 12:30

LOL

Curtis1624 1

Tuesday 18 January 2011 12:39

dude that really sux I feel for ya

MarcosFTW 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 12:51

anyone else realize it's the same person posting these different fails....his life must suck

bootje 5

Tuesday 18 January 2011 13:05

lol, seriously? it's just been chosen by the cast of skins - a tv show.

H_ayden 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 12:58

she was aiming for your leg. but I gotta admit that's so funny, like I laughed so hard!!!

firefighterazz 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 13:05

now by far my fav

dawilcox 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 13:33

jerk off in her face while she sleeps and wake her for the big finish

Pandora9321 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 15:05

HAH!

Cornflames 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 16:18

lmfao

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 490

You deserved it 5 131

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 995

You deserved it 2 670

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 361

You deserved it 7 419

Today, I felt so lonely that I was almost jealous of the way Chris Cuomo and Don Lemon playfully express affection for each other on CNN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 242

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 397

You deserved it 3 645

Today, my boss continues to think it's appropriate to send me whining texts about work at midnight. Or 4 a.m. I think his complaints about not selling as much candy as he expected can wait till work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 787

You deserved it 329