Love and Health: Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended...

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 886

You deserved it 761

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Same thing different taste

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 338

You deserved it 8 738

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 078

You deserved it 14 048

Out of it

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 04:01

Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 237

By Anonymous - 24/10/2011 09:47 - United States

Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 957

You deserved it 51 280

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 279

By pussyface96 - 19/09/2012 09:27 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 611

You deserved it 44 568

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 279

You deserved it 62 422

By Anonymous - 12/09/2015 20:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 020

You deserved it 3 684

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 05:01

Today, I was staying at a hotel and had a night terror. I woke up, yelled, "Fuck!" and realized I had shit the bed. I'd woken up my teenage daughter, who now knows I shit the bed in the middle night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 207

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 400

ajh1800 25

Tuesday 22 May 2018 3:32

Why wouldn't she just wake you up to go to the bathroom with her? That seems like it would be easier than having to clean a matress...

Glowworm56 26

Tuesday 22 May 2018 1:58

Geez, what the heck did you see? That awful looking Peter Rabbit movie from Sony?

Comments

Davros 12

Tuesday 22 May 2018 19:37

Tell her thanks for the golden shower. Then smack her nose with a news paper and toss her outside.

dwight7476 11

Tuesday 22 May 2018 20:03

No more horror movies for her

Cashmoney9000 6

Tuesday 22 May 2018 20:06

thats disgusting

NicF13 2

Tuesday 22 May 2018 20:12

are you dating a little kid or something. no level headed person pisses the bed because they're scared

rodfergie 18

Wednesday 23 May 2018 0:49

It's tough dating 8 year olds

chosha_fml 26

Wednesday 23 May 2018 2:23

Your girlfriend is ridiculous.

zuckerburg 21

Wednesday 23 May 2018 8:37

It's illegal to date 9 year-old's dude

nyes 17

Wednesday 23 May 2018 17:29

She might be broken. Send her in for a newer model OP

Lisa Raible 7

Thursday 24 May 2018 2:20

How old is OPs gf?! I mean at least she can clean up her own piss!

Bubbilility 27

Saturday 26 May 2018 17:59

Dude, there is an age of consent for a reason.

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The Top

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 141

Today, my fiancé picked today of all days to have one of his depressive episodes where he can’t even get out of bed. We’re supposed to be getting married in four hours, and his episodes can last over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 1 132

Today, I went to the store for a warranty claim on my prescription glasses due to little spots that had appeared on the lenses, covering both. It took 2 seconds for the employee to determine that it was hairspray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 546

You deserved it 43 805

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 287

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 167

You deserved it 2 929

Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 152