Love: Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss,...

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 555

You deserved it 4 566

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Same thing different taste

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 449

You deserved it 4 711

Some guys have all the luck

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 05:03 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today my brother tried to teach me the merits of stalking women on Facebook, gave me a tutorial on how to use improper grammar and spelling to woo them and finally, "using misinformation to start a conversation." He's getting married soon. The last time I kissed a woman was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 245

Gotcha!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 13:39 - United States - Revere

Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 488

You deserved it 1 121

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 88

By Lonely Gay - 22/02/2012 09:37 - United States

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 534

You deserved it 5 402

Quel abruti

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 06:00

Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 1 249

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 58 562

Breakout

By liisiuu - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 041

You deserved it 901

Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 158

Tonight, on 'First Dates'…

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 137

savannah65 19

Monday 24 March 2014 1:39

Ew wtf

ChelzTheWolfGirl 29

Monday 24 March 2014 1:40

Why did your brother want YOU to teach him how to French kiss? Because unless I'm reading into this wrong... It sounds like he wanted to practice with you.

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Monday 24 March 2014 2:19

I can understand him wanting you to verbally instruct him the do's and don't on french kissing, and directing him to a webpage online for more detail. But not actually kissing him which he wanted. That is just wrong.

sunshineb81 16

Monday 24 March 2014 2:20

I'm hoping your brother was nervous and worded it wrong. Maybe he wanted some verbal tips/advice. If that is the case it's nice he trusts and respects you enough to seek your advice.

kingjack_rager 5

Monday 24 March 2014 2:44

thats messed up. but if I did read this wrong he didnt say he wanted to practice on you he just wants you to show him but I may be wrong OP

inner_peace 19

Monday 24 March 2014 2:45

It's bad enough that he wanted to practice on his sister, but to pay her?

Luluthus 41

Monday 24 March 2014 10:30

You think he should ask her to kiss him for free instead?

inner_peace 19

Monday 24 March 2014 11:00

If you'll read the first three words of my comment, then the answer is an obvious no.

zackerylee53 4

Monday 24 March 2014 2:59

Serious issues..

buckdharma 37

Monday 24 March 2014 3:06

Now he'll have to go to mom.

megabite99 4

Monday 24 March 2014 3:08

Well the question is... Did you do it?

EvilLittleMan 23

Monday 24 March 2014 3:08

I sure didn't expect a comment like this to come out of the UK. Maybe Arkansas but not the UK.

CrissyyyS2 22

Monday 24 March 2014 3:25

Throw a doll at him and tell him to practice on that.

TogeBara 12

Monday 24 March 2014 3:25

I feel like he's just super nervous and wants to make a good impression. Tell him a good way to practice that is to learn how to tie cherry stems in a knot with his tongue. Thats what I did and I've had a good few compliments.