Miscellaneous: Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me...

By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 458

You deserved it 4 712

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Same thing different taste

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 558

You deserved it 4 569

By Kelly - 02/08/2012 08:11 - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 185

You deserved it 3 194

By Flip - 02/05/2012 05:06 - France

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 821

You deserved it 58 571

Don't hate the player…

By Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 816

Driver 8

By _guy_j - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Glendora

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 505

You deserved it 3 588

Mixed signals

By max - 07/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 460

You deserved it 2 988

Breakout

By liisiuu - 13/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 043

You deserved it 905

The hustler

By Anonymous - 23/11/2019 01:00

Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 215

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 174

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 869

You deserved it 3 997

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

Eeeewwwwwwwww

rachelottavia 16

Monday 10 November 2014 23:46

I hope you didn't say yes!

Comments

JoshMohawk 11

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:48

FYL for accepting his offer.

little_Jimmy 7

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:48

this isn't Arkansas

MrCantgetright 4

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:53

are you worried it'll turn you on OP?

diving_fml 30

Tuesday 11 November 2014 21:05

I wonder if she is $20 richer....

snazzygabe12 10

Tuesday 11 November 2014 21:18

$20 is $20

Jonacon 8

Tuesday 11 November 2014 21:35

Well now I feel disturbed

pic516 9

Tuesday 11 November 2014 23:54

$20 is $20

DR9614 4

Wednesday 12 November 2014 0:31

Well???????? Did you?

Eleora 19

Wednesday 12 November 2014 4:50

40, and we can get handsy.... lmfao Jk! *In Cleveland's voice* "That's nasty."

lbanks_fml 10

Wednesday 12 November 2014 5:58

Kissing what? Or where? Next he'll need practice receiving head?? So......$50 oughta cover it.

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The Top

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 10 775

Today, I was swimming with my friends at the local pool. My friend pushed me under, and as I came up for air, my hand stroked a hairy leg. It turns out I had caressed the leg of an old man who had been swimming laps. He spent the next half hour creepily smiling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 651

You deserved it 2 252

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 268

You deserved it 6 592

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 109

You deserved it 5 194

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 884

You deserved it 57 470

Today, I dropped a box from my dad's attic and blew a hole in my foot. I now have 3 toes missing because dad forgot he once wrestled a gun away from some kid trying to steal his wallet, meant to give it to the police, but kept forgetting, and it wound up in the attic for 11 years until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 139