This is a major red flag. Any person, especially an SO, that thinks you have to change yourself, or downgrade your appearance, so others won't notice you, is not someone you want to be with. It is a sign of major insecurity with controlling and abusive behaviour. He's trying to put you down, so eventually it'll make you feel like he's the only one that will find you attractive, and therefore your only option. One of my friends was in a relationship like this, he would control what she wore in public, so other men wouldn't look at her, she couldn't be "too attractive." Eventually it escalated to, controlling who she was friends with, and he had to know where she was going or where she was. It is not healthy, be careful OP.

Okay, it genuinely doesn't matter what he's like the rest of he time if he makes these sort of comments. Making unfair demands- especially in the form of ultimatums- is an early sign of an abuser. Many abuser use these sort of ultimatums for several purposes. The first is that they use them to test what boundaries their victim has, and to get a measure of what the reaction will be when they push them. The second is that they use them as a way to normalize more extreme acts in the future. The third is that many of the demands they make are designed to make the victim reliant on their abuser by making them not only emotionally vulnerable but also by using these demands to isolate the victim from help. So, if you haven't already, I highly advise telling him that he's being inappropriately controlling, or even just getting the hell out of dodge by breaking up with him if you have even the smallest suspicion the the might become violent or other wise attempt to do you harm in retaliation.

<p>Is he really asking that, or is he asking you to flirt with them less?</p>