Love: Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their...

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 190

You deserved it 2 313

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Madi - 30/11/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 770

You deserved it 3 632

By sickyandiknowit - 08/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 132

You deserved it 4 865

By Username - 10/08/2011 12:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 562

You deserved it 7 171

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 336

You deserved it 5 079

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 391

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 4 031

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 9 316

The Taste of Love

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 323

I'm fine, this is fine

By btg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 679

You deserved it 3 662

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 880

You deserved it 1 808

michaelaranda 28

Thursday 15 October 2015 7:12

Goat luck trying to get him to stop kidding around.

auest 15

Thursday 15 October 2015 7:11

Find some other obscure creature like that, and simply do it back. Eventually he will stop if you make it embarrassing enough. Either way, FYL OP

Comments

tomvertigo 17

Thursday 15 October 2015 22:20

Sounds an awful lot like you should be single.

newburton13 26

Friday 16 October 2015 0:54

Start feeding him garbage like a goat. He'll stop.

pinkster2014 25

Friday 16 October 2015 1:55

Your boyfriend is the GOAT

candicane79 9

Friday 16 October 2015 2:04

I had a boyfriend that liked to grab inappropriate body parts of mine in public places. He thought it was hilarious and I didn't. After I asked him to stop about 50 times and he wouldn't, I just started doing it back to him in public. He was mortified and instantly stopped doing it to me. Worth a try.

TheRealPitBoss 17

Friday 16 October 2015 3:05

that's the best fml I've ever seen! I'm crying...

DiscordianLife 5

Friday 16 October 2015 5:06

I'm so sorry Op, um, I think you should inform him that they 'snort' and 'garble' their URINE. They pee on their heads and use it as mouthwash. I know this because I've raised goats.