Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used...

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 540

You deserved it 3 391

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Same thing different taste

WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 163

You deserved it 8 550

Oh, so cute

By Anonymous - 10/04/2013 04:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 998

You deserved it 13 230

By Pissedoff777 - 12/08/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 420

You deserved it 7 897

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 394

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 835

You deserved it 8 841

By Lucachoo - 26/07/2015 00:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 652

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend meeting all of his friends for the first time. My boyfriend went into the kitchen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking for him. I discovered his friend holding two melons to his chest, mid explanation on how they look exactly like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 6 602

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 326

You deserved it 5 141

Bad timing

By oh no - 29/01/2013 14:51 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 501

You deserved it 3 473

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 5 190

redhedsaysrawr 18

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:09

Your love life sounds like something from a TV show...

DomDomxoxo 16

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:10

Maybe he wants to eat it off your lady-parts (:

Comments

KVKdragon 26

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:15

Could have had a V8 :P In all seriousness, tell him to wait for a good time to ask those questions lol

SApprentice 34

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:15

He's just so excited about his new toy, he couldn't refrain from asking.

_krystallynn_ 11

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:26

LOL. your bf amuses meXD

giggitygoo12 7

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:27

Lol

Factor_fml 6

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:31

Just wait for a week. The excitement will die down, and the juicer will be collecting dust.

Nilla_Please 12

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:49

Tell him to stay or he'll get a banana split!

perdix 29

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:49

Sounds like there's one big fruit who hasn't put through the juicer yet.

iCdnCHRIS 6

Thursday 27 September 2012 0:56

I would eat off of lady parts.

walmartpaysme 15

Thursday 27 September 2012 2:39

Duh. You're 17. Unless you are get that's a given.

Enslaved 36

Thursday 27 September 2012 1:11

Add pineapple to that shopping list-- then frisky play would taste so much better! ;)

LaBooskie 1

Thursday 27 September 2012 1:24

For a juicer.. no way. If it was a Smoothie maker than hell yes.

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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 497

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Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 266

You deserved it 15 218