Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up...

By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 21:37 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 113

You deserved it 6 011

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 621

You deserved it 8 141

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 066

You deserved it 4 508

Panic!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 784

You deserved it 12 436

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 176

You deserved it 10 371

Hot and humid

By drooler - 06/08/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 322

You deserved it 40 801

You probably do

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 22:01

Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 237

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 606

You deserved it 4 588

By cutiekenz21 - 31/07/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 858

You deserved it 8 391

Thanks!

By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 154

You deserved it 30 945

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 595

You deserved it 6 839

rgri 11

Saturday 7 December 2013 5:25

Try to convince him to wear a condom everytime he takes a nap, just to be safe.

ipierson 5

Saturday 7 December 2013 5:23

This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Comments

anthony99 14

Sunday 8 December 2013 0:02

Mazel tov!

zombiecrayon173 9

Sunday 8 December 2013 1:23

1. Break up with him 2. Get an abortion 3. That is technically rape

DaMann360 19

Sunday 8 December 2013 3:40

You guys keep railing on OPs boyfriend. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she gets hurt everytime you insult her boyfriend? Be nice to the poor guy.

DASboot1983 6

Sunday 8 December 2013 4:23

can we say VIRGIN! also, we must revoke his man card.

angel121011 2

Sunday 8 December 2013 4:29

My boyfriend would do the same thing believe it or not

malatang 6

Sunday 8 December 2013 4:31

He didn't make love with you before?

malatang 6

Sunday 8 December 2013 4:35

sperm can't survive in cold situation.don't be nervious

VoodooPriestess 16

Sunday 8 December 2013 5:24

Was he still half asleep when he woke up?

alexanx 1

Sunday 8 December 2013 9:53

It is possible for a girl to get pregnant with out sex as long is she is aroused and the sperm is close enough. If you didn't know that you should go back to school.