Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound... - FML

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 5 769

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Same thing different taste

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 5 732

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 484

You deserved it 7 341

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

WAURGH

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 02:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 946

You deserved it 4 272

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 4 453

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 520

You deserved it 5 248

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 569

You deserved it 6 500

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 12:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 500

You deserved it 6 771

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 601

You deserved it 10 963

By zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 874

You deserved it 8 879

Next

Top comments

Alienkiller 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 19:28

he was only unloading his gun

mike3775 36

Sunday 9 January 2011 20:28

And yet another upset woman who does not want to have fun in bed. Man I swear, the majority of women who post these types of comments on FML just want the guy to go back and forth for a few minutes and not say or do anything but that and then finish up and be done with it

Comments

KCDx3 0

Monday 10 January 2011 5:56

lmaooo

CallMeSmooth23 0

Monday 10 January 2011 6:23

what did he get for his killstreak hah

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Wednesday 12 January 2011 10:06

Sentry Gun ready for deployment!

TonyTheSaint 0

Monday 10 January 2011 7:15

Haha I have to try that now just to get a reaction!

dansco 24

Monday 10 January 2011 7:22

Bang bang lol

iSolDyourSouL 0

Monday 10 January 2011 7:24

Lame. Why do you date someone so immature? Dump his ass, and his next fml will be "Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I made gun sounds as I came during sex. FML" -- Then we can all laugh at him :)

FilthyJeepGirl 1

Monday 10 January 2011 9:56

nothing more than a man discharging his weapon...

momo1972 3

Monday 10 January 2011 10:08

he's trying to spice it up, what are you doing dead fish?

ryno00005 0

Monday 10 January 2011 10:15

lol

cutiee12 0

Monday 10 January 2011 10:46

that's weird. lol

kdinner123 0

Monday 10 January 2011 11:11

Boom ****** Shot?

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Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 831

You deserved it 23 549

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I agree, your life sucks 25 979

You deserved it 9 597

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I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 2 697

Today, my birthday was terrible yet again. This year, my boyfriend skipped celebrating with me at all. Last year, he guilt-tripped me about ‘having’ to spend time with me and got me two gift certificates that were unusable due to COVID. These weren’t even my worst birthdays to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 207

Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our one-year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 814

You deserved it 7 203

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 969

You deserved it 6 219