This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Gassed Out - 04/10/2016 11:57 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, my adorable new kitten woke me up with a cute meow right into my ear, since she was so cute, I decided to pet her, only to get my fingers bitten, and her to fart and leave me with a stench that can only be described as Satan's asshole after a particularly bad curry. I retched. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 796
You deserved it 198

Top comments

It needs blood to survive and releases noxious gases to kill its prey. You were lucky you woke up during its war cry.

Cute pets are always evil as they say. Don't worry, your kitty might've been scared since 'it' never been petted before. But as for the smell, I may have vomited in my mouth if that were me.

Comments

Cute pets are always evil as they say. Don't worry, your kitty might've been scared since 'it' never been petted before. But as for the smell, I may have vomited in my mouth if that were me.

Why not just use the pronouns given for the animal in the post? Why go to 'it'?

She just wanted you to feed her. Cats are shellfish like that.

It needs blood to survive and releases noxious gases to kill its prey. You were lucky you woke up during its war cry.