Intimacy: Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME...

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 692

You deserved it 8 176

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 955

You deserved it 7 122

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 406

You deserved it 8 022

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 413

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 229

You deserved it 10 883

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 5 637

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 1 816

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 463

You deserved it 34 382

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 885

You deserved it 6 276

By Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 632

You deserved it 91 093

By katie - 25/05/2011 08:23

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 011

You deserved it 19 188

Scubanaut 13

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:16

Did you quit her cold turkey?

Bwcoleman222 5

Tuesday 15 April 2014 0:20

"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"

Comments

goatfarminmama 0

Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:19

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday ;-) look @ it this way, easiest turkey you've ever carved!

twicht_de 10

Wednesday 16 April 2014 8:16

I like to call them animal names... Miss Piggy...

Rosebyday 5

Wednesday 16 April 2014 9:52

lmao!

unworldlyalex 11

Wednesday 16 April 2014 12:59

wow... you, sir, are the baster to her poultry

aarsch8 5

Thursday 17 April 2014 0:15

Those last two statements are unrelated.

noobienick 19

Thursday 17 April 2014 2:36

Did you gobble up her pussy?

Tomieray 4

Thursday 17 April 2014 2:58

You should've looked deep into her eyes and said "Where do you want the gravy?"

ChicKenza 4

Thursday 17 April 2014 4:27

Lmfao

velvet_dragonz 6

Friday 18 April 2014 3:06

sorry, but that's actually rather funny

EastyBeasty 4

Friday 18 April 2014 21:05

Lmao. I wouldnt have finished either.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 564

You deserved it 709

Today, multiple customers have complained about my body odor. Not only can I not smell anything, but I shower three times a day and brush my teeth seven times a day. FML

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You deserved it 138

Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 2 133

Today, after having a long and serious talk about maybe having a relationship, the guy I really like told me to send him a "sexy picture." I sent him a picture of me in a bra and a thong. He replied, "Yeah, you're hot!" and signed off after ten minutes of silence. I haven't heard from him since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 587

You deserved it 46 072

Today, it's my husband's funeral. My adult children never made it secret that they didn't like him, but I'd hoped they'd come to support me. Their replies when I asked them went from, "You know I hated him", to "No, I have work", to "I'm not going anywhere near that fanatic's church." FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 1 221

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 941

You deserved it 9 446