Love: Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than...

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 010

You deserved it 2 969

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 944

You deserved it 2 856

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 019

You deserved it 14 950

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 392

You deserved it 28 360

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 230

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 690

You deserved it 4 174

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 900

You deserved it 70 437

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 837

You deserved it 12 100

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 977

You deserved it 37 076

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 799

You deserved it 3 631

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 519

You deserved it 240

meatball4122 11

Monday 27 April 2015 0:24

Please tell me she atleast pays the phone bill

IAmzephyr 22

Monday 27 April 2015 0:28

plot twist: she was having sex with the phone

Comments

Tiny_AKA_Me 3

Monday 27 April 2015 15:07

Was it Jake? Jake from State Farm ?

cappellaaa 23

Monday 27 April 2015 15:42

Was it her job that you didn't know about? haha awkwarddd

TheTripleThreat 9

Monday 27 April 2015 15:56

You better have dumped the bitch faster than she could hang up. If you don't dump her, that kind of person is the only kind you deserve.

Xepez 5

Monday 27 April 2015 20:08

It was Jake from state farm

necrotitus 7

Monday 27 April 2015 20:26

Been there. I feel for ya brother.

gabagabaheyu 10

Monday 27 April 2015 21:26

maybe she is trying to make some extra money?

ObsidianMoon17 12

Tuesday 28 April 2015 0:01

She probably thinks you're a heavy sleeper..

cobybeltran 4

Tuesday 28 April 2015 2:59

Maybe it's jake from State Farm

mosquito19 14

Tuesday 28 April 2015 5:24

maybe she was talking to her mom.

martin8337 35

Tuesday 28 April 2015 7:53

so what are you wearing?

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The Top

Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 219

Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 191

You deserved it 1 854

Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 315

You deserved it 2 222

Today, I tried signing into one of my many food apps. After three hours, forty five minutes, and several emails with tech support, I realized that I had mixed up the emails I use for my Amazon and food accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 471

Today, my wife invited 45+ people to her baby shower, but literally 4 people came. Now I get to deal with my pregnant wife and her fluctuating hormones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 212

Today, after a conversation with my dentist on how to prevent further suffering, I realized that what is good for my teeth, my health, and my digestion are actually three different things that don’t offer much overlap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 114