Work: Today, I woke up bright and early, just when my boss called to... - FML

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By Tembeleanna - 15/06/2016 07:59 - Switzerland

Today, I woke up bright and early, just when my boss called to fire me. FML

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trucker2 33

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:34

Well you're up bright and early time to check out the classified for new employment

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trucker2 33

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:34

Well you're up bright and early time to check out the classified for new employment

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Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

agreeclassic 81

vote type 1 1 486

Today, my half-sister lied and told my mom I got a girl at school pregnant. My mom is unreasonable at the best of times, but after a full hour trying to get me to name this nonexistent girl, she's calling every parent from school to check if their daughters are hiding a secret pregnancy. FML

agreeclassic 1 246

vote type 1 98

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML

agreeclassic 44 651

vote type 1 7 039

Today, I found out my aunt posted a picture of my butt in a bikini bottom on Facebook. I didn't even know she had taken that picture. FML

agreeclassic 11 831

vote type 1 1 037

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

agreeclassic 20 024

vote type 1 46 136

Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant, so she swapped my dairy-free milk with regular milk. I’m writing this from the toilet and I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, with cramps and diarrhoea. She’s also complaining about the foul smell coming from the toilet. FML

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vote type 1 182