Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom trying to take a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML
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Top comments
Murilirum 23
I think he's to blame considering he didn't help by humming or pickup up some of the backup singing. One person can only do so much... :-/
admeid 10
At least you didn't have musical sharts instead...
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Comments (48)
imshadyxo 25
If you proudly finished, why won't you live it down? Have no remorse, OP!
Dexter83_fml 17
Rick I think you have invented a brand new type of music- poop music not to be confused with pop music.
cheshireau 26
This is why, if I can't hold it, I use the disability toilet.
ArcheryArtist 20
Oh man I would die of embarrassment. I would probably think about quitting my job too XD I feel for you though, as I've been caught singing in the shower many times. And also at school...heheh
Lalala579121 27
You should have yelled "my name's not Rick!".
neuronerd 29
I don't understand this need some humans have to sing while excreting waste. When I taught preschool aged kids, most of them would sing when you took them to the bathroom. Apparently, this behavior persists into adulthood. That's so weird.
xxcmb3k3xx 21
Love how his username is 'not telling you my name' but it says '...Rick' in the post xD
emmshemms 5
Why were you singing...?
sammyisnotonfire 6
He's never gonna give it up You're never gonna live this down He's always gonna run around And hurt you. Sorry, Rick.
EarlFug 19
Even if you KNOW you're alone, who sings and poos?