Miscellaneous: Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up...

By beleria - 23/04/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 248

You deserved it 2 893

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Same thing different taste

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping when I left my cart to grab an item. I returned, and started pushing the cart again. Halfway through the store, a furious lady confronted me, demanding her cart back. I had to walk back in shame to find my own actual cart, which was now nowhere to be found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 476

By rescuetheduck - 10/04/2012 19:26 - Finland - Joensuu

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 971

You deserved it 7 286

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 016

You deserved it 1 808

Lawyer up

By gnofin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 939

You deserved it 3 179

Are you OK?

By dxplq876 - 17/03/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 957

You deserved it 4 677

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 728

You deserved it 10 120

Helicopter parents

By I apologize on behalf of my mother - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 103

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 731

You deserved it 765

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 671

You deserved it 47 802

By DatAss - 15/01/2016 10:56

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 023

You deserved it 2 471

Radix 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:26

It was me, sorry :)

linkinpark98 23

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:28

Maybe you're just considered really attractive by the ghost who owns the fruit section. ;)

Comments

shawnaishere 14

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:39

That sucks when that happened to me my mom said "these sex addicts can't keep their hands to themselves, brush it off "

Archay 13

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:39

Noor have a talk with Ezio!

mintcar 9

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:40

A viscous slap? All in your mind brah. I hardly bump into crazies at the grocery store. Mall yes, grocery store- hardly.

harrison918 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:41

Someone got you so good they're making you think your losing your mind O.o

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:42

24 Thanks allot asshole. I laughed so hard at your comment that I spilled hot soup all over my legs!

emilydotawesome 1

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:46

Or are you...? O.o

OHai15 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:48

Someone give this person an award!! And the wiener-I mean winner for "Super Stealth Ass-Slapper" is............

mikeymayhem_87 15

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:49

It's fairly easy to slip into the next isle unnoticed when pulling a prank. But you could be losing your mind too for all I know lol

EyesofStone 27

Tuesday 24 April 2012 3:20

All the stores in my area have fairly open produce sections. There my not have been aisles for all we know.

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:50

36 Soup spilling is a mortal sin! Repent! REPENT!!!!!!

Kirlyfoo 9

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:51

Trollolololololol!!!!

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You deserved it 843

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I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 529

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I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 89

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I agree, your life sucks 26 297

You deserved it 1 984

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I agree, your life sucks 68 859

You deserved it 10 936