Love: Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his...

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 470

You deserved it 19 434

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 435

You deserved it 4 048

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 155

You deserved it 12 207

Self sabotage

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 17:41 - United States

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She'd said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Nah, it's just a generic face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 493

You deserved it 10 812

Thanks for telling me

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 870

You deserved it 2 607

By Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 402

You deserved it 5 729

Classic

By Mortified - 09/11/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 541

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 585

You deserved it 9 962

By touched - 10/02/2009 11:30 - Philippines

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 413

You deserved it 5 712

Long day, long ride home

By Jennette - 13/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 102

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 889

You deserved it 7 055

aKa_Bub0nic 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:30

Time for you to ketchup with the times and realize nobody licks their lips anymore to show signs of affection.

Kirashai 9

Monday 19 July 2010 1:30

...Yeah, he could've just tapped your shoulder and told you like a normal person.

Comments

rudiznell 0

Monday 19 July 2010 3:46

And you should've said, "Oh I'm not flattering myself. I'm a personal trainer and thought you'd need some help." score! bitch 1, mustard man 0

pcakewafflebacon 0

Monday 19 July 2010 3:52

... and him licking his lips didn't come off as creepy to you?

gingernator 0

Monday 19 July 2010 3:52

104, agreed. she's gorgeous but nice fail.

ninja_warrior517 0

Monday 19 July 2010 3:54

all i can say is wow...

HandOfClod 0

Monday 19 July 2010 3:55

Nice job #104!

Mr_Zachary 0

Monday 19 July 2010 3:58

104 is used to failing, as explained by his pic... maybe he's on a boat. a motherfucking boat.

FFML_314 11

Monday 19 July 2010 4:04

Babydacey, I have to know. Is that you? I have serious doubts. Considering someone already called you out and your myspace seems fishy.

Xx_jESSii 3

Monday 19 July 2010 4:12

Lol wow that's just weird, he's licking his lips so you give him your number lol & how didn't you know you had mustard on your face?

aardvarkish 16

Monday 19 July 2010 4:22

If you had the tongue of an aardvark, you could have owned him!

usaf2012 0

Monday 19 July 2010 4:28

YDI for being the kind of person who would respond to such a sleazy come-on.

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