Love: Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his...

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 470

You deserved it 19 434

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 435

You deserved it 4 048

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 155

You deserved it 12 207

Self sabotage

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 17:41 - United States

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She'd said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Nah, it's just a generic face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 493

You deserved it 10 812

Thanks for telling me

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 870

You deserved it 2 607

By Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 402

You deserved it 5 729

Classic

By Mortified - 09/11/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 541

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 585

You deserved it 9 962

By touched - 10/02/2009 11:30 - Philippines

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 413

You deserved it 5 712

Long day, long ride home

By Jennette - 13/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 102

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 889

You deserved it 7 055

aKa_Bub0nic 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:30

Time for you to ketchup with the times and realize nobody licks their lips anymore to show signs of affection.

Kirashai 9

Monday 19 July 2010 1:30

...Yeah, he could've just tapped your shoulder and told you like a normal person.

Comments

xSarahBaabyx94 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:35

he lucked his lips at you so you give him your phone number?? wth, who does that anymore and OP, couldn't you feel stuff on your face? YDI /:

Dr_Awesome654 24

Monday 27 June 2016 7:58

8 thumbs up

LOveLy_LOla 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:36

wow!! tht must really suck!! i bet u felt like a real loser!! smh!!

JimmyWeir 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:36

I'd be like "that's all the licking your gonna get today"!

Slappyzezima 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:36

someones a ****, aren't they?

SokDek 14

Monday 19 July 2010 1:36

wow you mist be fat and ugly, or else this is fake and gay..

tellmeastoryplz4 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:36

that's embarising for u!

xSarahBaabyx94 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:37

licked**

mfmylifesrsly 29

Monday 19 July 2010 1:39

why would you be flattered if a guy was licking his lips at you? I'd be creeped out..

JesseJaymz 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:40

stop suckin off big bird and this problem won't happen

Raleigh_bruh 7

Monday 19 July 2010 1:45

Lol, what?

JesseJaymz 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:47

mustard on the face-yellow ****?-big bird. eh, i tried. i'll say it myself, fail.

Raleigh_bruh 7

Monday 19 July 2010 1:49

Nah, it was funny aha. It's just when you read the same comments and then get to yours, it's like wtf all of a sudden haha.

FMGrammar 0

Monday 19 July 2010 4:13

22-fail 30-win

BabyDacey 0

Monday 19 July 2010 1:41

a guy licking his lips at you.. that gets you turned on? as if

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Today, due to an emergency, I ended up working for 18 hours instead of 13. I'd texted my unemployed wife to let her know this was unavoidable, but when I got home she blamed me like she thought I planned this in advance, yelled at me, and my dinner was Heinz tomato soup I had to heat up myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 113

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 530

You deserved it 3 858

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 788

You deserved it 4 868

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 646

You deserved it 2 708

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I took a walk without asking for permission. He thought guys would be hitting on me the entire walk, and that I chose to go alone to pick up numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 179

Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my cousin, instead of the girl who shares the same name. She liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 1 653

Same thing different taste

Self sabotage

Thanks for telling me

Classic

Powerful

Long day, long ride home

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