Miscellaneous: Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often,...

By PWI_addict - 03/01/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 35 593

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Same thing different taste

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 973

You deserved it 7 583

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 171

You deserved it 2 546

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 6 097

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 05:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 390

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 043

You deserved it 11 943

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 132

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 899

You deserved it 4 475

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 993

You deserved it 58 501

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 1 001

Blahp 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 23:18

Well, be more careful? Sorry though.

ThankYhuCaptinOb 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 23:21

sorry it must of hurt but really I'm sorry I chose YDI becuase you have a great imagination but cooking .... you nee to be more careful lol

Comments

zelly05 0

Monday 4 January 2010 0:14

lol YDI be more careful!! lol

Towelie_31 0

Monday 4 January 2010 0:26

Lol lets see those assholes on the food network try and do that

NorfolkDude 2

Monday 4 January 2010 0:38

You should have played it like you were on Food Network. Like you should have been like, "Ouch, just cut my thumb there. We're gonna go ahead and toss these tomatoes and, BAM! We got a delicious, home made sandwich with a complementary chocolate."

leadrunner751 3

Monday 4 January 2010 0:45

you are retarded xD

terriibabiiix23 0

Monday 4 January 2010 0:45

YDI for 'pretending to be on the food network show' wtf were you thinking ?!

LifeFucksUsAll 0

Monday 4 January 2010 5:05

You must lead a depressing life with no imagination. I actually feel bad for you.

WTFsGoingOn 0

Monday 4 January 2010 0:47

All I think when I read this is YDI. Why are you cutting tomatoes (or anything) without paying attention? And what makes this an FML really? I feel like this is kind of average.

lovely_lady_712 0

Monday 4 January 2010 0:52

you need to be more careful dude..

HunniBeeHuni 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:13

lol, that's kind of cute. sorry for your finger :[

LetsGoSox 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:35

How is that cute?...... Kinda Strange

Jade94_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 5:00

Especially since the OP is most likely older than 5...

saranottelling 7

Monday 4 January 2010 1:18

I admire your love of cooking, but you should have paid more attention. Sorry about your thumb.

epoh_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:23

I wish I had a sharp knife. I really do. Mine are so dull and I'm just awful at sharpening them. The cuts on my veggies come out somewhat jagged. anywho. Yes, FYL. Take a cooking class! Maybe they'll show ya how to do it right :)

letitbe56 0

Monday 4 January 2010 4:32

People keep ragging on the OP's comma usage (which is horrendous), but what really bothers me is that semicolon. It should be a regular colon. Clean-up: "Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and I often pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly. It turns out that was a big mistake: I sliced my thumb open. FML" The phrasing is still awkward, but at least now the punctuation is correct. EDIT- this should have stood alone. I don't know why it showed up as a reply.