Intimacy: Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because...

By tacolove69 - 16/02/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 818

You deserved it 3 392

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Same thing different taste

Awkward

By notmyfam - 09/09/2016 07:47 - Australia - Chester Hill

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 614

You deserved it 1 047

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 121

Unloading

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 7 797

By ohgodwhy - 10/05/2019 12:00

Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 618

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 862

You deserved it 4 342

By FML - 02/10/2015 21:45 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I took my boyfriend to dinner to meet my parents. He agreed to be on his best behavior, but when my mom told us about some shady stuff going on at her job, he replied that it sounded "fishier than Justin Bieber's cunt." We were quickly kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 551

You deserved it 4 256

What ARE you doing?

By jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 366

You deserved it 34 967

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 351

You deserved it 2 337

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 127

You deserved it 29 861

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 043

You deserved it 3 832

PensiveCub 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:17

ummmm what the **** are coxj puppets? and in the shower? I'm lost.

PsychoMerk 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 23:20

haha, anal and **** in the same sentence... might as well write a steamy story ;)

Comments

fuckyouasshole66 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 10:23

alrighty then.....

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 11:05

I for one will have a full day now that I know what a **** puppet is. Now how did that hambuger go?

terror_twins 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 11:22

lmao.

AbOvE_88 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 13:04

I think you did too. You have an incomplete sentence.

lucasmariolink 0

Wednesday 17 February 2010 17:38

wats a **** puppet

bryttanicutter 2

Thursday 18 February 2010 7:57

i love **** puppets! send him this way and u can do anal with your parents lol

_lifeblows 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 9:42

lmao hahaha - thats funny ..but your boyfriend is a tool .

awesome8021 3

Thursday 18 February 2010 13:02

Hahaha You said Anal

furubafan74 18

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:53

What are you, five?

jimshrimp 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 23:13

I saw this exact fml before, so this douchebah OP is fake

GermanCookie 4

Friday 8 March 2013 1:37

Wait.. What?! **** puppet?!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 535

You deserved it 37 483

Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys, and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour, before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 669

You deserved it 9 595

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 704

You deserved it 71 119

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 101

You deserved it 80 402

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 693

You deserved it 6 449

Today, I was sitting on my younger sister's bed while I was on my phone. She came in the room and pushed me off the bed, and I ended up slicing the skin under my eye. Now, my parents are forcing me to pay for the injury for "hanging off the bed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 741

You deserved it 348