Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet....

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 340

You deserved it 71 475

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 020

You deserved it 10 491

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 363

You deserved it 747

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 773

You deserved it 4 420

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 149

You deserved it 12 922

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 870

You deserved it 18 708

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 556

You deserved it 19 421

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 885

You deserved it 6 276

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 593

You deserved it 3 503

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 120

You deserved it 7 606

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 510

You deserved it 6 839

porcelainkisses 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.

coballan55 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

is she hot?

Comments

HSOMGF 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:16

And you're admitting this online?

runninbrotha 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:23

exactly what I thought!!!

Juliaa15 6

Wednesday 2 February 2011 12:25

it's not like it gives everyone their facebook, it's anonymous.

docscientist 9

Wednesday 2 February 2011 21:00

Do you know who posted it? No? Then it doesn't matter much what they post.

iR0ckSkinnys 3

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:17

WOW!!Now that's desperate-ness right there (0-o)

Doortje 29

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:17

You're calling this sock puppet your girlfriend nut you didn't bother to give her a name?

sourgirl101 28

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:24

Did you mean to write 'nut'? Please say yes! Because that would be funny!(:

whatup360 1

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:40

Doortje 29

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:14

Lol, yeah, I totally did!

JimMorrison_fml 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:18

worthless without pics

truthinlies 1

Wednesday 2 February 2011 18:12

why would you want pics of that in the first place

schwancy 2

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:19

You should graduate to a blow-up doll.

Bonacci 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:25

or at least a fleshlight?

auzzrage 1

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:46

hahahhaha made me laugh :)

Alexxcunningham 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:30

Lmfao. a fleshlight would be like a supermodel to OP right now d: he hasn't earned that yet

gintori 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 12:01

haha exactly!

nick27lax 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 18:31

haha right

runninbrotha 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:19

I wonder what the sock puppet is saying about you....

turtle4938 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:55

"Is that it?"

enoughgrace 4

Wednesday 2 February 2011 14:24

That's what she said?

kaoriblossom 8

Thursday 3 February 2011 4:22

"NO! NOT THE PENIS!! I WANT THE FEET!!!!!" he is totally abusing that sock.....

GingerFro 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 7:52

i've had bigger

sourgirl101 28

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:20

I'd hate to think of what you do to your wash cloth in the shower.

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 2 February 2011 10:21

you just gave me an idea!

Alexxcunningham 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:32

^ failtacular

KrazieKleo 13

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:23

LOL, this made me lol

disco2466 8

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:27

WHAT THE F$#K

LemonStarship 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:29

How do you know when she finished?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 630

You deserved it 31 065

Today, it's New Year's Eve. I'd made plans to spend time with my fiancé's family the past week, then my fiancé and I were supposed to drive to my parents place today to celebrate NYE. Unfortunately, this week has been full of sickness. I spent all yesterday bedridden, and now my fiancé is too sick to get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 107

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 651

You deserved it 41 004

Today, I finally met the guy I've been getting to know online in person for a date. When we saw each other, we both realized that we had heavily Facetuned our profile pictures. The awkward silence that followed was the longest five minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 922

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 364

You deserved it 107 172

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 669

You deserved it 712