Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of...

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 665

You deserved it 17 314

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Tactical nuke

By not getting laid - 13/10/2013 14:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 317

You deserved it 94 010

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 259

You deserved it 8 146

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 1 821

By T1A2Z3 - 13/11/2018 03:00

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 278

You deserved it 408

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 031

You deserved it 14 961

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 835

You OK hun?

By notexactly - 29/12/2009 00:48 - Sweden

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 200

You deserved it 3 352

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 811

You deserved it 612

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 143

You deserved it 29 821

Where did that come from?

By psychicmother - 09/09/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 809

You deserved it 4 878

Miller_Time 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:13

See, that's just really, really awkward. Like in the way you never want anything to be.

Shadic 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:15

Why'd he answer the phone?

Comments

greedy_dead_soul 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:52

No wonder his mom doesn't believe him. He ******* stops having sex to answer her call.

misanthr0pe 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 7:27

I'd say his life is more ****** than yours.

lifepwns 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 16:05

rofl

skyblitzer 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 21:28

SAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HI MOM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

serially 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:10

That's unfortunate.

green_199 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 1:46

"Yo mom, I'm getting mad booty right now!"

kittykat77 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 5:35

Maybe he was a virgin? He might not have known not to answer the phone if he was really inexperienced.

bitchh_fml 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 12:49

Who the hell answers the phone during sex? Good sexy, anyway.. "Uh, hi mom. I'm in the middle of some hot sex. Can I call you back?"

eLsiipOte08 0

Wednesday 18 March 2009 21:34

lol you're life isnt ******....his is

jsmith1199 4

Thursday 19 March 2009 19:30

"a guy i met"??? seriously? dont screw strangers, *****

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Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 250

You deserved it 466

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 084

You deserved it 5 226

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 481

You deserved it 55 214

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 10 046

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 650

You deserved it 39 121