It doesn't say anywhere that the fetus in question isn't OP's, for one. For two, all of that IS banned in Catholic faith except for smoking. Three, even if it was someone else's kid, just like religious people have the rights to spew shot about how people shouldn't have access to reproductive healthcare and the right to control their body, OP has the right to call a fetus a "little parasite." Particularly as, from a scientific perspective, a fetus is in fact a parasite until it is born. Not everyone has to be brainwashed into perpetuating the use of the same misinforming unnecessarily fluffy and "nice" terms for pregnancy.

Ok, if it is OP's kid it's an overreaction of epic proportions but neither drinking nor cursing are banned by Catholicism. Not even if you do it in front of your children. Catholicism doesn't like premarital sex and contraception, it's totally ok with alcohol and doesn't talk about cursing except as a 'don't be a dick' type of thing. As for OP's vocabulary, assuming that they are talking about someone else's pregnancy then throwing someone out of your party for that sort of language is totally expected and acceptable. You don't talk about other people's kids or pregnancies like that in polite society. I'd throw any anti-choice bigots out of my party too if they couldn't keep their mouth shut. Assuming that OP was describing their own fetus, then they're obviously joking and the hosts have a giant stick up their collective butts. But again, describing your own stuff (or family) has different rules than describing other people's stuff (or family). I can talk about how stupid my kid is, but if someone else who isn't the teacher does then we're not going to get along.