Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my sister was yet again sprawled out on the kitchen floor. Passed out drunk? Nah, it was a "die-in" as part of her plan to annoy us into becoming insufferable vegans like her. I accidentally stepped on her hand and she screamed, making me jump and splash hot coffee everywhere. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Today, I'm exhausted. For the second time, my fiancé and I have pulled my future sister-in-law off the pavement naked and drunk at 3 a.m. and couldn't find the purse or glasses she had with her. She’s hungover and has completely blacked out what happened. Never again giving her a place to crash. FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
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Top comments
buckdharma 37
Be the person who lifts her up.
Sunflora219 26
Just use her as a piece of furniture to embellish your living room if she's knocked out that often.
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Comments (40)
KnockoutBlox 13
I do the same thing OP... Except I'm stepping over my cats
Erdricks_Sword 9
she single?
zaidthunder1 27
You probably need to take her to AA?
ThrottleJockey 35
Ahh yes, I, too, remember college. My old roommate was the same way, even if it was 11am on a Tuesday.
drc2010 13
this is so funny! I bet it looks really funny walking thru there during the day with your friends.. haha