By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 875
You deserved it 4 633

Same thing different taste

Top comments

For ****'s sake, people! How many trite, overused goddamned pussy jokes are you people going to make? New material! NOW!

Well sounds like you're not getting or playing with any pussy tonight...

Comments

MidnightMusic53 37

You're in the hospital for bites and scratches from a cat? Did the cat cut an artery or something?

If you are bitten by a cat and the bite breaks the skin, go to the hospital. I'm not kidding. Cats' mouths are some of the filthiest there are and you can get very ill (even life threatening diseases) from a bite. Type "cat bite" into Google and you'll get a large number of hits about just how bad they can get.

MidnightMusic53 37

Oh please. Do you know how many times I've been bitten by my cats? There's plenty of things you can use at home for cat bites. Wash the wound thoroughly. Hydrogen Peroxide is very effective, and saves you a ginormous hospital bill. Neosporin is also very handy for these situations, just reapply it to the wound often. It's not something to go to the hospital for unless you foolishly leave bites and scratches untreated and unsupervised.

MidnightMusic53 37

Also, you should not rely on Google for medical advice. Many things on the internet are exaggerated or not true.

Well Op did say a"deep gash" in his leg.

MidnightMusic53 37
MidnightMusic53 37

Hydrogen Peroxide brings anything in the wound to the surface, which is why it foams, it also drains pus and any bacteria. It is effective, ask any doctor. That's what you get for using yet another internet source for medical information. Also, that article is from 2007, so I doubt it's updated information..

Jack Nicholson cleans his nose wound with hydrogen peroxide in Chinatown. If the movie says its an effective way to clean your wound out, I'm doing it.

AboveAll04 14

"accidentally" open the door and let it get loose!

Before I can vote on this one I need to know whose fault it is that you are married to a woman with a cat. Did she have a cat before you married her or did she pull one on you by waiting until you were married to get a cat?

If I were her, I'd would love you for it. My cats are assholes especially to anyone who isn't me or my brother. I don't think I would have let you take the cat to be honest.

Wife: Oh you poor kitten. Did the big man scare you ? I'm sorry you had to go through that . Here let me wash the blood off your paws. Op . This is why you buy dogs . And not marrying a crazy cat lady might also help

olpally 32

Cats are the guardians of the ancient underworld... Be glad you're still alive, op. that's one mean pussy you got there and your wife is kind of a bitch.

perdix 29

I'm sure the cat is upset that it failed to kill its prey. After a few tasty bites, it seems that you escaped and now the cat is a frustrated predator that needs consolation. I wouldn't go to sleep with that cat in the house -- it knows what you taste like and will come back for more.

It would be bye bye wife and hello single life. And possibly a dead cat actually yea dead cat...